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I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOUR BUTT IS WARM!

At 3:10AM this morning my alarm went off to go pick Cassidy up from work at the local outlet mall. Ben and I dropped her off last night at 7:00PM on the way home from a DELICIOUS Thanksgiving dinner with my mom and brothers and the parking lot was already completely full. PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.

Snuggle Buddies Anyway, my alarm went off at 3:10AM and after hitting snooze once, I got up to go get her. I fell asleep with my clothes on so that I could just slip into some flip-flops and walk out the door. But this stopped me and I had to take a picture because HOW CUTE ARE THEY!? Kumo is like, “WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?” And Agent Romanoff is like, “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOUR BUTT IS WARM!”

So anyway, after the photo I stumbled into the bathroom then grabbed my glasses, put on my flip-flops and started heading downstairs.

I walked out of the bedroom and realized that OMG WHY CAN’T I SEE!? And this is how the brain of a worrier works.

  • OMG I AM GOING BLIND.
  • Don’t be stupid you don’t just suddenly go blind.
  • OMG MAYBE IT’S AN ANEURYSM!
  • Wait, those are instant, right? Don’t be stupid, you aren’t having an aneurysm.
  • OMG! IS MY BLOOD PRESSURE SPIKING?! IS IT A HEART ATTACK!? FUCK! WHAT’S THE HEART ATTACK ACRONYM!?
  • WHAT ABOUT THE STROKE ACRONYM!? OMG AM I HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND A STROKE AT THE SAME TIME?!
  • No, sudden blindness is not one of the symptoms of STOP or FAST. STOP BEING STUPID!
  • Should I wake up Ben?! What will I even say!? TAKE ME TO THE ER! I CAN’T SEE SOMETHING IS WRONG I AM PROBABLY DYING!
  • Wait, I should verify I’m dying first. How do you so that? Should I take my temperature? What is the temperature of a dying person? Pulse? DO I EVEN HAVE A PULSE AT THIS POINT?! OMG AM I EVEN BREATHING!?

Then I took my glasses off and realized I could see! It was a miracle! Except, no, I just fell asleep with my contacts in.

When I woke up later this morning I had to laugh about it and thought it would be funny to look at the NEST video to see how stupid I looked and that’s when I realized all this happened in my brain in about a half a second.

I will never understand why my brain does this. WORSE CASE SCENARIO FIRST, ALL PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATIONS SECOND! I’ve gotten MUCH better at dealing with it in a daily basis. Ben is a great sounding board so if I can’t manage to talk myself off he ledge, he is always there to listen and remind me that I am COMPLETELY overreacting about something. I wish my brain would get a clue and stop this insane process but at the very least I’m able to look back and laugh about it now.

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