Where to begin…

A few weeks ago when Movabe Type announced that they were going to start charging for their software, I heard bloggers all over the web talk about changing over to WordPress. Now, I know that most of the blog’s that I read out there use Movable Type but they also have ‘Blog Roles’ and ‘Weather Pixies’ and all that jazz that’s VERY CUTE just not my thing. I used B2… B2 was simple, easy to use and RELIABLE so I didn’t see the reason to change what I was using.

Well, all of this blogging software talk got me to thinking that I needed to update my B2. So I go to do that and when you click the link to DL B2 it directed me to a sourceforge page like always only this time instead of seeing B2 I see… WORDPRESS. I go back to the B2 DL page and click again and up popps WORDPRESS. I tried it one more time just to make sure that I was not seeing things and sure enough… WordPress.

So, the guy that created B2 is no longer going to publish it. I am bummed because I really liked B2. While it might not be as feature rich as some other blogging software, it’s NEVER EVER given me a SINGLE problem. It did exactly what it was supposed to do EVERY time I used it. Instead, he’s telling all of his faithful B2 users to switch to WordPress and to not dispare!!! For there is a nifty little tool that allowes you to import all of your old B2 files INTO the WordPress database! SWEET!

I start to check out WordPress and read on all these blogs from people switching from Movable Type how simple and user friendly it was. There are also some really cool features that WordPress offers like passowrd pretected posts, sub-catagorys, and a miltitude of nifty Plugins. AND it also has an import for Blogger, the blogging software I started with and hated with a passion. And as I’m reading, the thought of having ALL my blog posts in ONE database is starting to make me giddy… so i decide, I’m switching too.

I DLed WordPress, configured my config file and uploaded. I then used the simple install.php application and literally had the thing up and running in about 5 minutes. I am so excited at how simple this is that I’m literally telling Ben how WordPRess is the best thing since sliced bread. And this is where things start to go down hill.

I run the import-b2.php and get a bunch of database errors. No biggie! I’ll just go the the WordPress support forums and do some reading, I’ve probably just gotten a value wrong somewhere. Granted, it’s the weekend so people are out doing things but nobody is helping me out there. I read more… it sems that just about EVERY person who has tried to import B2 posts has had some kind of issue. I’m reading different import techniques all over the web all of which are GUARANTEED to work and NONE of them are.

And the directions that WordPress includes are SHIT. Especially #3. Which settings do i transfer!? I’m not psychic, don’t you think that maybe you should have INCLUDED what attributes need to be transfered or am I just supposed to guess?! And do you think they tell you on the forum?! Hell no!!

Directions for Importing B2 to WordPress:

1. If you’re using an older version of b2, it’s probably a good idea to upgrade to at least .61 before making the leap to WordPress.
2. The templates are so much better, and there is so much more going on than before it’s probably worth it to start from scratch and work back to your design.
3. You need to transfer some of your settings from your old b2config.php to wp-config.php file.
4. WordPress issues should be discussed in our support forums.
5. Back up your database before you do anything. Yes, you.

FIANLLY, two days later, somebody on the WordPRess support forum answers with and coherent answer. I follow his directions and the B2 files are imported!!! I jumped up and down and kissed my monitor. Then I tired to log into the wp-admin… Hmmmm, it’s saying my password won’t work and that no users exist. Back to the WordPress support forum I go. Try logging in with the B2 information they say. OKAY!! I try that, does not work. So now all my posts are there but I can’t get to them!!!

(bangs head on wall)

Okay, let me try this one more time. Delete database tables, reinstall WordPress, import blogger posts (which is VERY easy with a VERY clear set of instructions), import B2 posts. SWEET!!! They are there… AND I CAN’T FUCKING LOG IN!!!!!!

FINE, fine! Okay. Great. Whatever. I’m just going to stick with B2 and WordPress can die and rott in hell. Except now since I’ve run the damn import-b2.php script and it WORKED my b2 tables in the database have been altered and b2 WON’T LET ME FUCKING POST!!

(it’s okay, stay calm, yelling and screaming will wake up the child and waking up the child at 2am is not going to help the issue at all)

(FUCK IT. I’M YELLING!!!!)

Now, I have two choices. Use the backup of the tables to put everything in B2 back to where it was before I started this whole damn fiasco or live with the fact that I’m not going to have B2 posts in the same database and continue to use WordPress. After I calmed down and my blood pressure had dropped back to normal I decided that I might as well just stick it out with WordPress. Surely, SURELY somebody over in the WordPRess camp will listen to all the people who are complaining about the pain in the ass B2 import is and DO something about it. SURELY!!

So I ended up spending an hour or so getting the index.php to match this layout. I only ran into one issue and that was that the scrollbar would not see the colors in the CSS file. When I went to the WordPress support forum and did a search on the issue, it seemed as though others were having the same problem. When anybody asked about it though, they got a bunch of assholes telling them that colored scrollbars were not ‘Web Standard’ and aren’t supported cross-browser so anybody who even THINKS abot using them should just be shot in the town square at sundown. Not a SINGLE one of the threads started about it offered an answer on how to make the index.php see the scroll bar attributes in the CSS file.

So I figured it out on my own. Because it’s my damn site and if you want to use Mozilla or Opera or whatever the hell else, that’s your option. Just understand that this is MY GODDAMN WEBSITE and if I want COLORED SCROLLBARS then goddamit I WILL HAVE THEM and you can take your ‘web standards’ and stick them straight up you ass!

Anyway, all the old B2 posts are accessable by clicking on the archive button at the bottom of every post. The archives dating all the way back to March 2003 are there.

And welcome to WordPress.