I recorded a Get To Know Me tag video because I had a bunch of stuff to do the other and needed a distraction so I didn’t have to feel bad for not doing those things. My camera died at one point and I lost half a question but you got the most important part which is me reminding Ben that I’m always right. The zit on my chin is names Alfred. He’s awesome. Someday I’ll actually put makeup on before a video. Not this day though!
I’ve decided to attempt Blogmas. ATTEMPT. I’ll probably fail but I like to set my standards low so that I’m not disappointed in myself later. The last few months I’ve written around 2 posts a month and I’ve already met that goal so basically I’ve already won December.
My friend Trini posted this questions meme on Facebook the other day and it was fun to read her daughter’s answers. Because I didn’t want to have to type all the answers out I just made Cassidy sit down and make a video with me. Because I’m lazy. And also, you can see our real interactions.
At 3:10AM this morning my alarm went off to go pick Cassidy up from work at the local outlet mall. Ben and I dropped her off last night at 7:00PM on the way home from a DELICIOUS Thanksgiving dinner with my mom and brothers and the parking lot was already completely full. PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.
Anyway, my alarm went off at 3:10AM and after hitting snooze once, I got up to go get her. I fell asleep with my clothes on so that I could just slip into some flip-flops and walk out the door. But this stopped me and I had to take a picture because HOW CUTE ARE THEY!? Kumo is like, “WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?” And Agent Romanoff is like, “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOUR BUTT IS WARM!”
So anyway, after the photo I stumbled into the bathroom then grabbed my glasses, put on my flip-flops and started heading downstairs.
I walked out of the bedroom and realized that OMG WHY CAN’T I SEE!? And this is how the brain of a worrier works.
OMG I AM GOING BLIND.
Don’t be stupid you don’t just suddenly go blind.
OMG MAYBE IT’S AN ANEURYSM!
Wait, those are instant, right? Don’t be stupid, you aren’t having an aneurysm.
OMG! IS MY BLOOD PRESSURE SPIKING?! IS IT A HEART ATTACK!? FUCK! WHAT’S THE HEART ATTACK ACRONYM!?
WHAT ABOUT THE STROKE ACRONYM!? OMG AM I HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND A STROKE AT THE SAME TIME?!
No, sudden blindness is not one of the symptoms of STOP or FAST. STOP BEING STUPID!
Should I wake up Ben?! What will I even say!? TAKE ME TO THE ER! I CAN’T SEE SOMETHING IS WRONG I AM PROBABLY DYING!
Wait, I should verify I’m dying first. How do you so that? Should I take my temperature? What is the temperature of a dying person? Pulse? DO I EVEN HAVE A PULSE AT THIS POINT?! OMG AM I EVEN BREATHING!?
Then I took my glasses off and realized I could see! It was a miracle! Except, no, I just fell asleep with my contacts in.
When I woke up later this morning I had to laugh about it and thought it would be funny to look at the NEST video to see how stupid I looked and that’s when I realized all this happened in my brain in about a half a second.
I will never understand why my brain does this. WORSE CASE SCENARIO FIRST, ALL PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATIONS SECOND! I’ve gotten MUCH better at dealing with it in a daily basis. Ben is a great sounding board so if I can’t manage to talk myself off he ledge, he is always there to listen and remind me that I am COMPLETELY overreacting about something. I wish my brain would get a clue and stop this insane process but at the very least I’m able to look back and laugh about it now.
I fell in love with Chihuly glass the day I walked into our medical group’s new building in Palo Alto and there was a three story glass sculpture installed in the lobby. I was running late to an appointment and I just stood there staring at it in absolute awe. I can’t express why I find his work so fascinating, before that day I had never even heard of Chihuly, I just knew that I had some kind of weird emotional response to this art hanging in front of me and I never wanted to move from that spot. After I learned who the artist was I read everything I could find about him online and where his work was in the Bay Area and made it a point to seek it out when ever possible. I once lost my family at the Monterey Bay Aquarium because I got so lost in my own head in his exhibit there.
When I decided to tag along with Ben on his work trip to Seattle, knowing I’d be on my own a lot, I did some research to see what all there was to do in the area. First thing I found was Chihuly Garden and Glass and I got irrationally excited. I asked Ben if he wanted me to wait for him to do it on a day he could go to and he wasn’t really interested so I decided right away it would be the FIRST thing I did.
And it was. And it was AMAZING.
I’m not going to get into the ridiculous range of feelings I had while walking through the exhibit but it was pretty powerful for me. Before then I never really understood people that had an emotional connection to art. It just didn’t make any sense to me. But it does now. I sat in one room in a corner and just stared at this HUGE room, full of glass pieces of all shapes and sizes and colors, soft angles and hard angles, long sweeping pieces, balls of different colors and sizes, huge pieces all intertwined and chaotic but somehow in complete harmony and I thought, this is my brain. All the time. A mess of fragile jumbled pieces that somehow all work together to make complete sense. I never wanted to leave that room. Ever.
I was really happy that I ended up doing it alone so that I could FEEL all this stuff. It was absolutely the highlight of the trip and I can’t wait to go back someday so that I can show it all to Ben. And I REALLY want to do it all again at night. I think the garden would be magical.
SO! Here are some of my favorite photos (you can see the whole album here) and I made a little video too. I really love the idea of having video reminders of awesome times so expect to see more of them in the future!
I’d been trying since yesterday morning when I first saw the story about Dani Mathers to write a blog post about it but no matter how hard I tried I wasn’t able to properly convey just how I felt about it. On the way home today I figured I might as well just sit down and talk it out on video. So here you go. My take on this which TL;DR is Don’t Be Dani Mathers!
Also, I was two glasses of Moscato in at this point so. There’s that.