7th grade.

Cassidy started 7th grade on Wednesday. SEVENTH. GRADE. I know, right?

On October 1st, 2003 I wrote about her first homework assignment and mentioned being “put out” by an hour of writing the letter “b” and then some cutting and glueing. I want to punch October 1st, 2003 me in the face.

I get questions about Cassidy a lot. How is she, WHERE is she, why don’t you ever write/tweet about her anymore? So: she’s fine, she’s probably in her room writing in her diary or hanging out with a friend, and becuase she’s asked me not to.

Believe me, there are VOLUMES I could write about this kid but she’s asked me not to mention things here, ALL THE THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT OF COURSE, and I have to respect that. I don’t have to LIKE it. There are so many funny stories and headdesk moments that you are all missing out on that I want to share and can’t but she’s going to be 12 in a month and we live in the digital age. Her site links to my site and kids are assholes and I don’t ever want to be the cause of any problems with that.

So instead I’ll just leave you with some of my favorite shots of her starting with when she was a sweet innocent little baby to now when I’m pretty sure there’s been a time or to she’s wished that I would spontaniously combust into a ball of flame. Have I mentioned how fun it is to embarrass a tween in public? Because it is.

This is just seconds before she took her first step. She was 13 months old and the only thing she cared about was her Pa and bubbles so that’s all it took to distract her enough to get the first step off. There was no stopping her after that!

Here she is getting the STAR Award in 1st grade. She had been wanting to get it ALL YEAR and it was the LAST MONTH. She cried when she told me she got it. I still tear up when I think about it. It was also a BIG DEAL because she got to wear whatever she wanted to school that day while the rest of the kids had to be in uniform.

This is one of my favorite pictures of her. Taken in July 2005 on my dad’s old boat and I don’t know if it’s the missing teeth, the cheesy grin or what but this is my daughter. 100%.

Here she is later the same night high on s’mores. See, this is pretty much how her face looked fer entire sixth year on earth.

And here is Halloween 2005. She was a vampire and LOVED her makeup. She told me she wanted black hair so I bought that spray and we started in on it and she HATED it all ratted like that. I thought she wanted to be a SCARY vampire. She very much wanted to be a “PRETTY vampire”. This was pre-twilight, by the way. FORESHADOW ANYBODY?

This was January 2006. I started letting her dress herself for school and do her own hair. I figured since she had to wear a uniform it couldn’t be THAT bad. I was wrong. But that was okay because it was also adorable.

Here is another one of my favorite shots of her. We had some face paint pens so played after school. It was taken in May 2006 and had suddenly grown teeth after having no front teeth for almost two years.

July, 2007. We camped out all night to get the last Harry Potter book the day it was released.

1st day of 6th grade.

Two months ago at the beach.

I could add 100 more pictures here but I’ve been working on this post for three days now and at that rate it will never get up!

7th grade.

Help me.

Questions Answered: AMY!

I’ve decided after seeing the questions from my last post that it will probably be easier to answer them each in separate posts. You can still go ask questions here if you want and I’ll get to them all eventually.

First up is Amy who is pretty damn awesome. She’s been a huge inspiration to me in my weight loss battle. You should go check her out!

What are your tattoos of? Will you get more?
My 1st one is on my lower back and is blue daisies and a sunflower. It reminds me of my Nonnie (my dad’s mom).

The 2nd one I got because one night my dad served us entirely too much wine and somehow my step-sisters and I talked ourselves into tattoos. We each got a lotus flower in a different spot. Mine is on my ankle. My step-mom calls us the Lotus Sisters.

The 3rd one is on my wrist and is a hibiscus which is the Hawaii state flower. I got it a few days after Ben proposed to me next to a waterfall I’d just swam in in the middle of a beautiful tropical fain forest.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get another one and as soon as I have the money (and the design) I will. I already know what I want and it will be something special for Cassidy.

I know that people are either totally PRO or AGAINST tattoos and I fall pretty much in the pro category. I’ve heard girls say before “Why would you try to dress up a Bentley” and other equally narcissistic bullshit and WHATEVER. Pretty much every girl I’ve heard utter those word has more in common with a used up busted Honda than a Bentley. Also, the answer is: for the same reason you put makeup on, wear perfume or keep scrapbooks. Memories and beauty. Nothing wrong with that.

Where did you meet Ben?
I met Ben streetracing. True Story. He had friends that hung out in the same circles I did and he posted on a local streetracing message board that I moderated. We had a lot in common and would hang out if the group all happened to be together. I was still married at the time and it wasn’t until a few months after Troy and I had separated that Ben started showing “interest”. We have SO MUCH in common that it was hard not to like him right back! Everybody ASSUMED I liked another guy so I think people thought I’d end up dating him. They were wrong. Ben was so nice and sweet and really sensitive to my feelings being a new single mother struggling to make it on my own. I knew within a month or two that I never wanted to be without him. <3

How did you name Cassidy? (Love her name! You don’t hear it often.) What are other names you considered?
My first Cabbage Patch doll was named Cassidy. I’ve known since then, probably around 7 or so, that my first daughter would have that name. For a week or two I considered Breann but at night when I’d dream about her, it was always Cassidy. So she became Cassidy Breann Stacy.

Do you think you’ll have more kids?
I want one more, yes. The timing just hasn’t been right for it to happen. I imaging a baby with Ben’s eyes and smile and my heart swoons.

Last goodbye.

We had to run by the car grave yard today to grab two cables that go to the head unit (iPod and USB cable) so that we can sell it. I really didn’t think I’d get to see it again. It didn’t effect me QUITE as bad as last time. I think the wheels help. It’s just not the same without my wheels on it.

Tomorrow it’s officially GONE. Going up for auction. For the first week after the wreck, every time I saw an M3 I felt like I had just been punched in the face and had to fight back tears. That car just FIT ME. It felt like a second home. I know this sounds extraordinarily pretentious and stupid but until you’ve owned a BMW I just don’t think people get it. I literally felt like I was part of that car when I was driving it. We were one. With the suspension so stiff you could feel every groove and bump in the road, the intake making it so easy to hear the throttle response and the exhaust amplifying the motor noise, it was hard NOT to be one with the car.

But now I’m okay. Today on the way home I saw an kid in a red E36 M3 spot a bit of open road and mash the throttle just enough to hear all those sounds, and feel that feeling and I just grinned a knowing grin and giggled to myself.

That car will always be my favorite. I really think that. No matter how many cars I own in my life, that car was my first REAL love affair with a vehicle. And I know in my heart that I’ll own another M3 someday and I’ll love it and drive the hell out of it… but a little piece if my heart will always belong to ANNAS M. And just in case it ever starts to forget, I stole the front plate as a reminder.

Treat please.

Breakfast @ 6:30AM: I need to work more protein into breakfast. Even if it means getting up earlier to cook something at home. I don’t WANT to do that though. When I start P90x I want to start having a Shakeology before I leave the house or on the way to work. That’s 17 grams of protein, 17 of carbs and only 150 calories! I also forgot flax seed meal AND my vitamin today. DOH!

1/3 cup of Danon Light & Fit Vanilla Yogurt
1/2 Fuji Apple
1/2 cup Puffins Peanut Butter Cereal

Calories: 168
Carbs: 20
Fat: 1
Protein: 4

Snack @ 9:30AM: I forot to take a shot before I ate it! DOH! I’m new to this! I’m sure I’ll start to remember in no time!

5 Ellie Krieger lemon shrimp
1/4 cup Ellie Krieger Soup cream & Chives Smashed Potatos

6th grade

Cassidy started 6th grade today. SIXTH. GRADE. I started taking a picture of her on the 1st day of school a few years ago but last year I think was the first year I got one up onto flickr. I can’t believe how much change has happened in that one year.

It’s so amazing to see her growing into this little woman. Forming her own opinions. Making friends and telling them secrets I’ll never know. I’m starting to realize for the first time that I’m less “driver” now and more “passenger”. It’s awesome and scary at the same time and I just feel so lucky that I get to be a part of the ride.