Lady in White

Once upon a time, 1988 to be exact, when I was an innocent 10 year old child that knew nothing of the world but flowers and rainbows and cute little puppy faces and always told the truth and kept my room clean and did all my homework without being asked, I was visiting my dad and Cherie and they laughed in the face of cute puppy dogs and shook their fists at rainbows and thought that innocent little girls were, like, totally overrated.

So they took me to see Lady in White. And my life spiraled out of control and not long after I stopped doing my homework and started smoking in the girls room and MY INNOCENCE WAS LOST FOREVER AND EVER.

I’M KIDDING!

It did completely scare the everliving shit out of me though. I vaguely remember trying to be all cool and making sure there was a seat between ME and THEM lest anybody in the theater actually think that I was there with my PARENTS! CAN YOU IMAGINE!? And by the end of the movie I was practically curled up in a fetal position on my dad’s lap because I was SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!

They still bring this movie up from time to time at dinners and family parties and I can just tell by the sly little grins that they got a complete kick out of my reaction to the movie. And looking back, and as the parent of a 10 year old girl, I have to admit, I kinda get that.

But still…

Have I mentioned that to this day, I HATE scary movies? Ben and Cassidy love them and I love that they share that bond but NOTHANKYOU I will NOT watch that movie with you two!

Cassidy: Mom, it’s all FAKE.
Me: I KNOW THAT! I just don’t want to watch THAT movie.
Cassidy: Because you are SCARED!
Me: No, I just don’t want to watch that stupid movie!
Cassidy: Whatever.
Ben: *laugh*
Me: WHY DID YOU EVEN HAVE TO BRING IT UP ANYWAY?!

Clearly you can see who the adults in this household are.

So, today I get a knock on the door and a Barnes and Noble package with my name on it and I get all giddy and excited and I open it and it’s…

LADY IN WHITE! ON DVD!! SO WE CAN WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!! AND OVER!!!!

Enclosed is the message:

“A blast from the past. Enjoy Mother’s Day! Make a memory for Cassidy. Love Dad and Cherie”

So I emailed them right away:

*insert horror movie scream here*

Anna Hirsch
to Mike, Cherie, Benjamin

I don’t know if you know this but I have a very small barrier between mentally sane and COMPLETELY WHACKED OUT NUTJOB and sending movies that traumatized me as a child MIGHT NOT HELP STRENGTHEN THAT BARRIER!

But still… It’s pretty much the most awesome gift ever!! We’ll have to wait till it’s really dark, make a big bowl of popcorn and hopefully Cassidy doesn’t mind when I want to sit in her lap.

Thank you guys for an awesome, and very thoughtful, gift!

So thank you dad and Cherie! It really is an awesome gift and I’m sure that all three of us will enjoy it.

And I’ll be forwarding the bill for the resulting therapy session to you guys.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Yesterday I took my mom to Tyrolean Inn for dinner for Mother’s Day. It’s really cool to get to hang out with my mom like we’re old friends over a glass of wine. Well, I had beer but still.

As Cassidy gets closer and closer to that age where I stop being her best buddy and start becoming the #1 enemy, it’s comforting to know that one day we’ll get to be friends again. And that one day she’ll take me out to dinner for Mother’s Day and when the bartender recognizes her but can’t place her she’ll respond, “That’s probably because I’m sober.” It might not have been the best thing to say in front of my mother but it WAS THE TRUTH. And I couldn’t tell what the slight smile on her face meant for sure but it totally reminded me of the I-love-you-even-though-you-are-SO-GROUNDED look. Suddenly, I had the nostalgic urge to turn around and slam a door in her face just for old time’s sake. Instead we sat down and had a really nice dinner and laughed and gabbed and drank and enjoyed ourselves.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.