aflux.net

Ben and Lisa were chatting and decided that the four of us (Lisa, Stuart, Me, Ben) should all go hike Half Dome. Remember I referenced Half Dome in that one post where I mentioned Ben tried to KILL ME by making me hike up a volcano in Maui. It’s titled I am not a hiker. I used hiking Half Dome to reference how he is all Hiking God, and I’m like, a Hiking Pussy. Yeah, THAT Half Dome.

So in three weeks we are going to hike it.

me: Hike half dome in ONE DAY?
*hurts already*
Benjamin: well, I told lisa we’d need at least two weeks to get in shape
that’s around 3 weeks out
me: We better start TONIGHT
Benjamin: with emphasis on aerobics and legs
yep
tonight
Me: Okay!
…

me: I might die.
On the hike.
Will you carry my body back to civilization.
Not leave me behind with an ice axe in my head?
Benjamin: Baby, you’re going to LOVE the axe

Yep, I’m totally going to DIE. So, this is my official written notice that when I die everything goes to Cassidy. Except the chair in the living room which I leave to Hans Stuck the WOnder Catâ„¢ since he’s the only one ‘allowed’ to sit on it. And the alcohol because she’s too young to enjoy it. I leave that to Cameron who is 18 and it’s high time he start drinking it in volume.

Speaking of alcohol:

me: It looks nice
And they have an elopement package for small weddings
Lisa: it does, i’d be game for a road trip there too
wedding reconn is MAD FUN
me: HAHAH
Lisa: because everyone’s trying to woo you
“come get married at my place so i get bank commission!”
me: Do you get lots of free alcohol? If so, we should TOTALLY do that
Lisa: woo woo woo
LOL
we should ask for a bar tasting
HA
me: hjahah
Lisa: be like “we don’t really care what you feed us”
me: “No, we need to tast ALL the alcohol”
Lisa: “but beverages are TRES important”
me: “Does this martini go with my dress?”
Lisa: HAHAHA

They are having an “Ice Cream Social” at work today for some reason. Yesterday I asked what brand/flavor it would be so that I could check the ingredients prior to getting some and they said it would be the little cups. So I assumed it was the old fashioned kind that come with the little wood “spoon”. So I just verify that I can see the ingredients first and they say, “NO problem!”

Today I practically skip over to the lunch room to get my ice cream and… they are ice cream sandwiches. The big ones where the thick, creamy ice cream is sandwiched between two oversized chocolate/chocolate chip cookies. Double chocolata wrapped around ice cream. I fucking hate stupid ass wheat and is motherfucking stupid stupidness.

And it wouldn’t be do bad if THIS MORNING hadn’t been the morning that I found out, “SURPRISE! Starbucks MOCHA is NOT gluten free!” Drinks with Mocha or chocolate chips are the only NON gluten-free drinks they have. So I go to have my favorite drink (Mocha Frap) for the first time this season and I get sick for fucking HOURS and HOURS.

And I ate something between Sunday night and yesterday and I have hives all up and down my hands and arms. But I don’t know WHAT it is that gave them to me. I just have them.

I’m seriously so OVER this wheat thing. I feel like a a big part of my life has been taken away. I’m suddenly not allowed to eat all my favorite foods and I’m past the point where I’m happy I feel good and at a point where I’m just really fucking pissed off this is happening to me. Pissed off that I don’t know if I’m bloated because I’m PMS-ey or bloated because that little wheat bastard made into something I ate. I can’t READ MY OWN BODY anymore and I DON’T LIKE IT. I feel like I have no freaking control over what’s going on. I mean, I can control it to a point. I can TRY and make sure no wheat makes it in but there will NEVER be a 100% guarantee. At any point in time I can go from being fine to sick and bloated and running to the bathroom and horrendous headache and RASHES and just… WHATEVER.

I’m just pissed off…