aflux.net

I should probably write out the long version of this but I’m exhausted and Aunt Flow is here and this is what you get!

Last Thursday aflux was hacked via a REALLY old version of a gallery script that I had totally forgotten even existed. I had installed it to code a theme because Ben’s using it on norcalBMW and when I was done I just forgot to delete it all.

I wish I could say that I was some uber l33t web goddess and they were just trying to fuck with me but it wasn’t that. It was some random asshat that took advantage of my blondness to get to Bigger and Better Things. SEE: my host’s server. To host torrents or some other fantastic reason I don’t care to know.

Anyway, I’m back now. I’ve backed up EVERYTHING on the site and over the next few days will be getting rid of A LOT of old stuff that I’m not using anymore. The one thing NOT having my site for FOUR LONG DAYS made me realize is that a lot of the snazzy stuff I thought I cared about, I really don’t. I was mid redesign so I’m going to finish that but it will be much less then what I had originally planned. I had lots of pretty bells and fancy whistles and there will still be a little of that, but much, much, MUCH less.

I missed you all! *hugs*

Holy shit!! Hell finally froze over (and boo to that because I hate the idea of spending eternity IN THE COLD) and Ben FINALLY registered a flickr account! I’ve only been hinting that he do this for about… 2 years now!

People ask me why he never comments on my pictures and hardly ever on my blog posts and the answer is: Because his computer desk is directly next to mine. He doesn’t need to type things out because he can use his actual voice and mouth and stuff. Crazy, right?! Ben is my biggest critic and I don’t say that in a bad way. He often praises me highly for things that I’ve done well, or right, or just don’t totally fuck up. But he also gives me honest opinions when I ask for them, and sometimes when I don’t.

This is how it usually goes:

Me: What do you think of this so far?
Me: *points to Photoshop mock up of theme for Wordpress*
Ben: Ummm.
Me: Be honest. I’m serious, I want your honest opinion. What do you think?
Ben: It’s too pink.
Me: To PINK!? How is that even possible?
Ben: *looks at monitor, then back at me, then back at monitor*
Me: I’m serious, I want an HONEST opinion.
Ben: I gave you one!
Me: You said it was too PINK! It’s not even DONE yet how could you know how PINK it’s going to be!? Maybe I’ll just change all the pink to YELLOW, THEN WHAT?!
Ben: It will be too yellow?
Me: WHATEVER!
Ben: You are fucking crazy.
Me: Okay, maybe I’ll take some of the pink out.

About two weeks ago we kind of “got into it” because he left me a comment here that I thought was a bit on the harsh side. But I needed it. It was because I mentioned something here that I don’t normally talk about ever and made a comment along the lines of “nobody will ever understand” when I should have prefaced or finished the sentence with “because I don’t talk about it ever and don’t give them the chance”. Because if there’s one thing that Ben WILL do, it’s listen and understand. Even if it ends with him kicking me in the ass and telling me to GET OVER IT, he will listen and understand first. This is kind of my way of publicly telling him I’m sorry I was such an asshole about that situation.

So it’s not because he doesn’t read, he does. And sometimes he tells me, “Wow, that was a really great post.” And sometimes he tells me, “You SERIOUSLY think that?” And I welcome both forms of criticism. I just welcome one with open arms and the other with a drop kick to the head… and that’s something I’ve tried to work on for a long time and will continue to have to work on. I know that Ben is honest with me because he knows that it will make me a better writer, a better communicator and a better PERSON. I just need to work on remembering that in the moment when the words are first spoken.

And I could be totally wrong about why he doesn’t comment more, but I’m sure if I am, he’ll clear it up for me in a comment.