Aflux.net

Well, I made it back to Bakersfield without a hitch. The bus driver let us sit at the very front of the bus even though you aren’t supposed to so Cassidy could look out the big window. He also bought her some cookies. He was a nice guy and she talked his ear off for six hours and he loved every second of it. It was too cute.

Gonna hang out with Lacie and Jim tonight and just kick back and visit everybody while I have the chance. We are going shopping for a friends birthday party that is tomorrow. So… I’m off to shop. Might not blog again till I get home to San Jose so over and out for now and everybody have a safe and fun weekend. 🙂

Day #4 in San Jose.

I could get REALLY used to having the doors and windows open all day long. I love to have the sound of the tree’s rustling, the wind blowing, the faint sounds of children riding bikes and people taking walks. I love to bring the outside in. I sit here at the computer and look out this huge window next to me and see a giant tree instead of the apartement across the way… Our back balcony is surrounded by trees too so even though we live in an apartement, I feel very secluded and like we have a lot of privacy. The front balcony has trees all along it so it’s shaded and cool all day long. It’s soooooo nice. Ben and I discussed getting a bunch of plants for inside the house as soon as we have the money to spare. I’m excited. I love it!

Cassidy and I went swimming yesterday and she met two very cute little girls to play with down at the pool. She’s DYING for Ben to swim with her so we are all going again tonight when he gets off work.

Tomorrow morning EARLY (and thanks to my daddy!) we are going to take a bus to Bakersfield so Cassidy can visit Troy and I can get my car. I’ll be there till Sunday evening. I can’t WAIT to have my car up here. There is so much I Want to do but I feel bad having to ask to borow Ben’s car.

Well, off to put the finishing touches on the packing. I’m like three boxes away from being home!!!!

So, elaboration time:

I got a call from Ben about 12:30 Saturday morning while at a party with my friends. He was driving into town to see me. He told me, ‘I’m driving down and I want you to move this weekend.’ It was a total shock. There were a million reasons I had come up with to procrastinate the move. Some were silly, some were VERY important to me, some were aparent, some were hidden secrets, some were from fear…

I knew that if I didn’t make the move soon that Ben and I were not going to be doing too great. I knew that losing him over 240 miles would be something I would have regretted for the rest of my life. To not lose him because I didn’t love him, or because we didn’t get along, but over… space. So, I latched onto the fact that I trust him, and love him… and I said, ‘Okay, I’ll move.’

I’m not sure I was TOTALLY ready, but I do know that I this was something I had to do. It was one of those times in life that you grasp ahold of the fear and use it to succeed…

Well, I am now a resident of San Jose. We got everything moved in yesterday. I’m going to spend the day today unpacking, organizing, and swimming. 🙂

I want to elaborate on the decision to come up here because it came across kind of the wrong way in that last blog post but I have A LOT to do today so I’ll probably wait till tonight sometime. I’m hoping I can remember to tell Ben to bring home the webcam so I can get a few snapshots of the place and you can all see pictures. 🙂

Well, boxes are calling. More later.

Ben showed up out of the blue on Saturday morning around 3am. He basically showed up at my door and said, ‘Move with me now or we are going to fall apart.’ We rented a U-Haul 8 hours later, had everything packed inside 8 hours after that and in 6 1/2 hours will be on the road to San Jose with everything I own. We both knew that if I didn’t move very soon, we were going to have serious problems. I’m scared out or my mind and excited beyond belief all at the same time. Sad to be leaving people I love very much, but happy to start this new chapter in my life and see where it will lead.

Leaving for San Jose in about 10 minutes. More and more drama from Troy keeping me from the move up there perminantly. I’m just going to be there for the weekend. I miss him like crazy and I feel like I need to see him to keep my hope alive.

I’ll post more when I get back.

My purse was stollen. $150 in cash, $80 in checks, Social Security card, Drivers License… It kinda threw my whole week off. That $150 was money I REALLY needed. I think I have ways to come up with it so hopefully this won’t keep me here in Bakerfield AGAIN. :< I’m now 12 pounds lighter. 12 pounds in 5 weeks. I can’t believe it, clothes are fitting loser, pants I could not wear three months ago now fit. If feels great to be losing the weight but I expect it to come flooding back as soon as the stress goes away… if that ever happens. SPLINTER UPDATE!!! – Turns out it was a planters wart. I got medicine for it and it already seems to be going away.

I drove my car for the first time in two weeks last night. It had been sitting because I’m trying to save money and it’s a damn gas hog.

So I get in, turn the first corner, realize I suddenly have POWER again (my mom’s car is a SLUG) and just get the biggest grin. I drove the back way out to the drag strip with the sunroof all the way open the windows down at about 90… Long curves, cool air, nobody on the road, 20 minute drive… awsome. It took all I had not to run it last night since it will probably be my last time being 20 minutes from a drag strip in awhile. BUT I know that I need to do a few things before I drive her *really* hard again. Just not worth breaking it when it HAS to get me around for awhile.

So today I’m helping my mom lay tile (UGH!). Tomorrow I need to change my oil, check my brakes, you know the mundane normal go over. I want it to be it tip top shape for the driver to San Jose. The Granny is back in all her 4.6 liter, V8, quad cam glory… I missed her! 🙂

I had one of those days you wish you could wake up and start all over again.

So things are not going to go as planned with child custody when I move. Thank God for Randy, he is the best. So, trip is on as planned. Visitation is going to be an iffy situation for awhile but nothing that Ben and I can’t get through with a little patients.

So I *might* have to go up Sunday instead of Saturday but I am going to do everything in my power to get up there Saturday… as planned.

I just spent 20 minutes trying to get a splinter out of Cassidy’s foot. It’s just too deep, I can’t get to it and she was begging me to stop. So I’ll let it go tonight and try again in the morning. Any parents out there have good splinter digging advise?

Anyway, I’m off to take her to Troy’s. I’ll update the splinter dilema as soon as possible. Stay Tuned.
/mom mode