I’m not sure why we had to spend $14,000 to find out I had colitis when he could have diagnosed me with a $4.00 jar of peanut butter.

Cassidy fell asleep on the couch last night at 8:30PM. This is really odd for her because usually on Saturday nights she’s not even in bed till 11:00PM. She had been complaining about not feeling well all afternoon and then this morning woke up pretty stuffed up and not feeling well.

This afternoon she was sitting on the couch and I noticed her cheeks were pretty pink.

Me: Your cheeks are pretty pink, do you feel warm?
Cassidy: *shrug*
Me: You might have a fever, we should take your temperature.
Ben: You know, the best way to find out if you are sick or not is to rub peanut butter all over your face and let the dogs lick it off.
Me: …
Cassidy: OKAY!
Me: …
Ben: WOOHOO!
Me: …
Kumo: I HEARD PEANUT BUTTER THERE IS GOING TO BE PEANUT BUTTER WHERE IS THE PEANUT BUTTER I LIKE TO EAT PEANUT BUTTER!
Danica: WOOHOO I DON’T KNOW WHY WE ARE SO EXCITED BUT I’M GOING TO BE EXCITED TOO BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS EXCITED AND I LOVE MY BROTHER SO MUCH IN ALL CAPS!
Me: …

According to Dr. Benjamin Hirsch if you laugh when a dog licks peanut butter off of your face, you can’t be sick. It’s all very scientific.

Cassidy is not sick.

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