Because I’m a responsible blogger and Surge is a DREAM KILLER, I thought that I should add that I’m doing my part to kill the planet, one cold, refreshing fix at a time. According to TreeHugger.com *tries not to snicker*, every 1 kilogram of Fiji water consumes 26.88 kilograms of water (7.1 gallons) .849 Kilograms of fossil fuel (one litre or .26 gal) and emitted 562 grams of Greenhouse Gases (1.2 pounds) to produce. Now my habit feels even more dirty than before. Only not as bad as say, if I smoked…

Some time ago I rather harshly judged somebody because they wouldn’t drink any water but Figi. I still think its pretty lame to go overboard with it which is what this person did.

Them: Oh no, I don’t want that perfectly good Arrowhead water you are offering be because I’m thirsty and there’s nothing around to drink, because I ONLY drink Fiji water.
Me: Good! Becuase I’d much rather spit on your hot, dry corpse then GIVE you a single drop of my water!

For the last few weeks I’ve been living a secret double life. I’ve gone through probably 20 bottles of Fiji water. I CAN’T HELP IT! IT’S A PROBLEM, I KNOW I NEED HELP! I’M SO ASHAMED!!!

But it’s so soft and flavorless and when its ice cold it’s like pouring liquid extacy (Not that I’ve ever done E, because I HAVEN’T. HI DAD!) down your throat. The way the supersoft water rolls across your tongue and down your throat with no aftertaste and… *starts shaking*

*grabs bottle, injects into vein*

Okay, I have a problem. BUT! I can say, that if I was thirsty and somebody offered me a bottle of Arrowhead, I’d not turn it down like some pigish, asswipe who’s SO MUCH BETTER than your crap infested, NAME BRAND water.

The other day Ben, who admits the Supreme Fabulousness of the water and has been knows to bring bottles to bed with him, was giving me a hard time about it. “what makes it so special?”, he asked. So I explained:

Me: It’s filtered through mountains and silica so that’s why it’s so soft. Mountians that are untouched by pollutants from factories or humans and think about it, even the rain clouds have no pollution in them and so the water even STARTS OUT pure and…
Ben: What about dead animals?
Me: What?!
Ben: Well, there has to be dead animals on the mountain…
Me: I hate you! Why would you say that!?

Ben always has to ruin EVERYTHING for me!! But! According to my Fiji bottle yesterday the water is protected by an Impermeable Rock that protects the water. IMPERMEABLE! Click that link. They explain that the water isn’t ever even touched by AIR, let alone ROTTING ANIMAL.

By definition, artesian water comes from a source deep within the earth, protected by layers of clay and rock. There is no opening, not even a porthole to the surface. As a result, the water never comes into contact with the air, protecting it from environmental pollutants and other contamination.

IMPERMEABLE! I think that rotting animal corpses would fall under the “other contamination” umbrella. Not that it really matters anyway. I’m stupid brave enough to drink California tap water so drinking water filtered through rotting animal corpses would probably be a step up.