So moms and people in general are all aflutter today with the current Time Magazine cover of a woman breastfeeding her 3 year old son. I’ve seen reactions range from “HIGHFIVE LADY” to “she should be ashamed what is her son going to think of this photo when he’s an adult”. I’m pretty sure Time did this for the reaction and it’s not hard right now to capitalize on the current trend of parenting styles ALL OVER THE INTERNET. The anti-vaxers, the anti-circumcision movement, the breastfeeding crusade, the cloth diaper swaps, the cosleeping coalition… it’s like a hippie’s dream.

Assuming your dream is to have a succubus stuck to you constantly for 18 years. Not my idea of fun. At all. Honestly, I think all this attachment parenting is going to guarantee that we raise the most codependent bunch of whiners we’ve ever seen. But that’s ANOTHER BLOG POST FOR ANOTHER DAY. LET THE HATE MAIL COME FORTH AND BLESS MY INBOX!

So about the cover. I really don’t have a problem with extended breastfeeding. I think it’s a decision that a family should make together. Do what works for THEM. You want to breastfeed your five year old? Go for it!

I really hate this cover though. But not for any of the reasons I’ve seen mentioned online yet. It’s not the picture, although it’s something that I’d never want, to stand there while my child is perfectly capable of grabbing a banana and eating it if he’s hungry, but because of what is implied in the text:

“ARE YOU MOM ENOUGH?”

Are you mom enough to do this? I hate the connotation that if you are worth anything as a mother, you will breastfeed till your child leaves for college. If you can’t or CHOOSE NOT TO breastfeed well then, you just aren’t MOM ENOUGH.

I’ve written about this before. I get really annoyed when I see parents are made to feel “less than” for a decision they’ve made. I get the appeal of attachment parenting but I do not get why a lot of the attachment parenters I see out there online feel the need to constantly shove their opinions and links and superiority complex and JUDGEMENT down your throat.

It’s mean and lame and STOP THAT.

JUST STOP.

*quietly steps off soapbox*

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So one day I come home and Cassidy and I are talking and she stops mid-sentence and looks at me confused.

Cassidy: Mom, why are you wearing two different color flip flops?
Me: What!?
Cassidy: One is hot pink and one is red!
Me: HAHAHHAhahahaHaHahaHAHAHAHahaH
Cassidy: Did you wear those at work all day?
Me: LIKE A BOSS!

Seriously, this is the pile I was dealing with! At 5:00AM! In the dark! At least they were CLOSE colors!

Pick out shoes that MATCH! IN THE DARK! At 5:00AM! I was just feeling pretty good about the fact that I HAD shoes on! But I learned and now I check my shoes when I put them on and then again in the car before I leave. I still expect that one day I’m going to end up at work with one brown and one black heel on.

So the other day I bought two really cute summer dresses on sale at Old Navy and, of course, I wore one on Monday. I LOVE little cotton dresses for work because they are COMFY and easy. So I put on my cute bright orange dress, add a white shrug and some cute brown heels (that matched!) and off I went.

Got to work at 6:00AM. WORK! WORK! WORK!

At 1:30PM I go to the bathroom and turn around in front of the mirror to check out the dress and… OMG YOU CAN TOTALLY SEE THROUGH THIS DRESS IN THE BACK. JUST THE BACK.

See the front! Deceivingly opaque!

And now the back! This picture really doesn’t do it justice. The outline of my underthings was about twice as dark as you see here!

I kind of froze there in the bathroom. Mouth hanging open. Wondering how many of my coworkers had been given a HAPPY MONDAY greeting by my see through dress.

The rest of the day I carefully planned any trip away from my desk based on traffic at the time. I’d get up, walk QUICKLY to wherever I needed to go and QUICKLY back. Then waited 10 extra minutes to leave so that the rush would be gone already and held the door open for the three coworkers that left at the same time as me so that I could walk behind the pack.

It was the opposite of awesome. But on the way home I convinced myself that it was probably not nearly as bad as I thought it was. I was surely over reacting and being hyper-sensitive about it. I felt better when I got home.

Then Cassidy came home.

Me: So turns out, this dress, totally see through!
Cassidy: Let me see.
Me: *turns around*
Cassidy: HOLY! Why did you wear that!?
Me: Because I got dressed in the dark.
Cassidy: You really need to stop doing that. Or, you know, LOOK IN A MIRROR before you leave the house.

This morning I checked myself in three different mirrors. Six times. With the lights on.

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Cryptic post is cryptic.

I know.

I just want everybody to know tonight to hug your kids. They are the ONLY thing that matter. Being a mom has been the most fully rewarding and painfully heartbreaking experience I’ve ever had. Right now my daughter needs me to fight for her. She doesn’t realize it, she probably won’t till one day, long from now, she’ll look back and she’ll see that what I’m doing right now, what I’m probably going to have to do in the months to come, is all for her. All to know that she will grow up to be the best person, best mother, best friend, best coworker, best daughter, best everything I know she can be.

So for at least a little while, all my extra time and energy needs to go into my family. My daughter, my husband, my life here. Now. Offline.

If I post anywhere, it will be here. But I’ve already let social media friends know I won’t be around.

I’m not saying I’m going away forever. I will be back. I just need some time to heal my family and to focus on getting through this… this thing.

<3 you all. Take care.

Till next time.

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Cassidy REALLY loves to cook. She’s been SO AWSOME lately and while Ben and I work out in the evenings, she cooks dinner. The work out and the kitchen are connected so if she needs to ask any questions or oversee how things are going, we’re right there.

Scene: Kitchen, Thursday night.
Menu: Cayenne-Rubbed Chicken with Avocado Salsa

Me: *pumping iron*
Ben: *pumping iron*
Tony Horton: BRING IT!
Cassidy: Mom, how do I get the onion juice?
Me: Ummm.
Ben: What?
Cassidy: I need the onion JUICE.
Me: I think you need to read the recipe again.
Cassidy: It says: “Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, combine onion and lime juice; set aside.”
Me: HAHahhah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAaaaAAAAHHHHAAHAHAHAAHHAAHHA
Cassidy: …
Ben: Onion. *deep breath* And lime juice.
Cassidy: OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Me: OMG REMIND ME TO BLOG THIS LATER!
Cassidy: *angry stare*

Sometimes living with a teenager is better than TV.

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Work your ass off!

End up on the floor, panting, dripping sweat and very much NOT cute.

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Me: WWWHHHHHHAAAAAAaTTTT!?
Cassidy: Mama?
Me: Cassidy.
Cassidy: Is it okay if Alexis comes over? We need to bake stuff for the bake sale we’re having for Lucero Luna.
Me: Do you have your…
Cassidy: My PE clothes are in my bag.
Me: And you talked to your teacher about that…
Cassidy: She put the grade in wrong, I got a C but I’m going to do some corrections and bring it up and it will be better.
Me: Okay, I’ll be there in like 10 minutes.
Cassidy: OKAY!
Me: OKAY BYE!

In the car:

Me: I can already tell what’s going to happen here. I’m going to be up till 11:00PM baking things.
Cassidy: I’m going to make it all!
Me: Between shopping for the stuff, homework, laundry, vacuuming and dinner you are going to bake four batches of brownies and two batches of Rice Krispie treats?
Cassidy: YES!
Me (to Alexis): I’m going to be up all night baking.
Alexis: Probably!

Go to store. Buy ALL THE THINGS!

Me: So four boxes of brownies, two boxes of Rice Crispies, three packages of marshmallows, two bags of M&Ms. Wait, why do we have two bags of M&Ms?
Cassidy: For the rice crispy treats!
Me: We only need one bag, there are enough for like 78 BILLION BATCHES there.
Cassidy: They’re two for $8.00!
Me: So get ONE for $4.00!

A minute later they reappear!

Alexis: They’re actually $7.00 a bag! So you get a whole extra bag for $1.00!
Me: Oh, well then you should get two!
Cassidy: OMG WE JUST PUT IT AWAY!
Me: WELL GO GET IT AGAIN!
Cassidy: OKAY! *epic eye roll*

On the way to the car:

Cassidy: So we need to make the posters tonight so we can put them up tomorrow so kids bring money.
Alexis: Okay!
Me: WAIT! WHAT!?
Cassidy: We. Need. To. Make. Post…
Me: I GOT THAT!? Tonight? So this things isn’t till Wednesday!?
Cassidy: Nope.
Me: @(#$@#*)$)@*#%@#% You told me we had to bake TOOOOOOODAY!
Cassidy: I did?
Alexis: I’m pretty sure you did say that.
Me: I AM GOING TO LOSE ALL MY HAIR
Cassidy: I’ll still think you’re beautiful.
Me: I’m going to punch you in the face.
Alexis: I’ll still think you’re beautiful, Cassidy.

The only reason I didn’t make them walk home from the store is because I think what they are doing is very admirable. They are trying to raise money to help whatever family Lucero had left give her a decent funeral. I can’t be mad at that. And I’ll probably be up all night baking and that’s okay.

Cassidy is on the yearbook team? Committee? And she and her friend suggested that they make a page for her in the yearbook.

This kid. Sometimes I want to punch her in the face, other times I want to hug her till she promises to never leave home.

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Me: I love you.
Ben: You do?
Me: Yeah.
Ben: That’s cool.

And I totally do, you guys. I totally do.

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Me: Butt Plugs (which would have removed the need for a plunger!)
Cassidy: Twinkies

I don’t understand WHY he felt the need to remove two such critical items but I was happy this morning to see that he’s taking our need for farts very seriously. I added that one too. You never know when you’re going to run out, after all.

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Cassidy’s BFF Alexis made the Principal’s list which is a 4.0 PERFECT GPA. There were only 8 kids in the class to receive it so we are really proud of her too! Today we went to Costco and bought them some gift cards to the local theater for $25.00 each (you get two $25.00 cards for $40.00 at Costco!) and then took them to the movies. They choose to see Chronicle and Ben wanted to see it too.

Me: When we get there, you two can buy your tickets yourself and food or whatever and we can just meet up after the movie.
Ben: But you don’t have to sit with us.
Cassidy: Okay!
Ben: Actually, you AREN’T ALLOWED to sit by us.
Me: Yeah, we don’t want our friends to see us and be like, “Why are you guys hanging out with those KIDS!?”
Alexis: *giggle*
Me: How embarrassing would THAT be?

Congrats, kids! So proud of you both!

Just not proud enough to be seen with you in public.

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Cassidy: Mom, how did you meet Julie?
Ben: In a strip club.
Me: OMG we did NOT MEET in s STRIP CLUB. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN?! DUDE!
Cassidy: hahahaah So, how did you meet her?
Me: Street racing.
Ben: BECAUSE THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER!
Me: Yes, it is.

Naked dancer or criminal street racer. Pick your poison.

My poison was driving fast down long straight farm roads in the dead of night.

Moral: Julie and I met while BEING AWESOME.

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