Monday morning:

2:50A.M.
*wakes up*
*listens as helicopter flies over house rather low*
Me: What the hell? Does the asshole realize people are SLEEPING DOWN HERE!
*falls back asleep*

2:55A.M.
*wakes up*
*listens as helicopter flies over house AGAIN. Still low*
*hear Ben stir*
Me: What the hell is with the helicopter?
Ben: *grunt*
*TRY to fall back asleep*
Ben: *snore*

3:00A.M.
*listen to helicopter come back and start to hover*
Me: What the FUCK is going on?
Ben: What’s it doing?
Me: I DON’T KNOW!!
*gets up to look out bedroom window*
Me: It’s shining it’s light around. It’s looking for something.
Ben: Where is it?
Me: Out there. *points out window*
Ben: *grunt*

*goes to living room to look out sliding glass door*
*gets camera*
*contemplates using long exposure and Night Shot mode to capture helicopter*
*realizes I’m far too asleep to get the do all that… shoot I’m having problems turning the thing ON*
*takes picture*
*closes front window and check locks on doors*
*gets back in bed*

Ben: What’s going on?
Me: I don’t know. It’s looking for something. I checked the locks and closed the window in the front because I don’t want some lunatic trying to get away from the police IN THE HOUSE.
Ben: Did you close the sliding glass door?
Me: No. *shit* I’ll go close it.
Ben: Sorry.
Me: No, it’s okay.
*goes back out on balcony and sees the helicopter has now found whatever it is it’s looking for because it’s hovering in one spot with the light fixed on one location*
*close door anyway*

3:05AM
*lay in bed listening to helicopter hover outside our bedroom window*
*contemplate getting up to close bedroom windows but realize the room will get really warm really fast that way*
Ben: *snore*
Me: How in God’s name is he asleep with a helicopter hovering OUTSIDE OUR BEDROOM WINDOW?!?

3:15AM
Ben: *snore*
Me: Oh God if you make it stop I swear I might actually think you exist. Shoot, I’ll become a born again Christian and preach your word door to door. Seriously.
Me: …
Me: Rocket launcher. That’s what would stop it. The heat seeking rocket launcher from the original Unreal Tournament. One shot. Big boom. Back to sleep.
Me: …
Me: Or the BFG!! The BFG from Quake 3. No need to chance any of the fuckers living through the blast. BFG would ensure the assholes would never keep me awake again.
Me: …
Me: Of course, it is over a residential area and the BFG would take out a few houses too because it’s flying so low. I guess the best bet would be a rocket launcher. The Counter Strike rocket launcher would be good too. But the UT rocket launcher is just so easy to use. Keep AIM for 5 seconds and the thing is guaranteed not to miss plus it’s got a smaller blast radius than the CS launcher… Yeah, that’s it, UT rocket launcher.

3:27AM
*helicopter starts to fly away*
Ben: *stirs*
Me: I figured out the best way to get rid of it was the rocket launcher from the original Unreal Tournament.
Ben: *grunts*
Me: I thought about the BGF but the shockwave would have done too much damage to the homes below it.
Ben: Counter Strike’s rocket launcher would have been good too.
Me: Yeah I thought of that too but eventually ruled it out. The UT launcher is the way to go.
Ben: Okay.
…..
Ben: You are going to blog that, right?
Me: Probably.
*cuddles*
*falls asleep*

We ate at Fuddruckers tonight at Cassidy’s request. The restaurant is located in an extremely busy shopping center in Union City. EVERY time we go there we drive around for at LEAST 15 minutes looking for a place to park.

After driving around for 15 minutes tonight in the GTI (thank every diety we were not in the M3 or Ben would probably have killed somebody) we parked in an Extended Stay’s parking lot. There were the standard Private Property signs there. After 15 minutes I told Ben to just PARK THERE even though he pointed the sign out to me. I really should have kept my mouth closed because when we left the car was gone and had been towed.

Our receipt at Fuddruckers time stamp is 8:45PM. The tow company reciept states they picked the car up at 9:03PM. We drove straight to the tow yard to pick it up and after paying the $265 fee were walking out the door to the car to drive home at 10:04PM.

Of course as soon as I get home I’m online to see how I can fight this. My first thought is to call the City and bitch. The parking there sucks major ass and I’m sure as hell complaining to SOMEBODY about the $265. I find out within 5 mintues that the owner of any private property is required by CA DMV Section 10851 CVC (Taking a Vehicle Without Owner’s Consent) to wait at least one hour before a car can be lawfully towed… not 18 minutes BITCH!

I’ll be contacting a lawyer first thing Monday morning to get my money back and hopefully some compensation for having to find a ride to the lot and the distress this has caused me.

Somebody just burnt popcorn in the breakroom. The microwave has a button on it that says: POPCORN. This button cooks the popcorn perfectly every time. Never overdone, never underdone. But there’s always that ONE idiot that doesn’t seem to believe in the POPCORN button that stinks the enitre floor to high hell.

Women! *rolls eyes*

I know I’ve complained about this before…

But my periods are getting worse and worse. I’m going to have to go back to the doctor and they are going to have to DO SOMETHING about this. I laid on the couch and slept from about 5 till 9. Sleep is better than pain, getting nausiated everytime I eat and being so bloated I almost thought I wasn’t going to be able to get my ring off this morning. And I HAVE to drink water. I seriously start to get dehydrated if I go a few hours without it. I’ve ended up in the HOSPITAL before because of it.

I can’t be like this 1/4 of the month… every month. Ugh.

I understand that the bathroom nearest my desk is the only one that is a single toilet. All the other’s have stalls and it seems as if a lot of the girls we work with have “performance anxiety”. I understand that it’s always in use. I don’t mind really because I can hear the door to this bathroom open and close through the security door. That’s why I never bother getting up to go unless I know it’s empty.

From now on I’m going to make it a point, also, to see who it is that is coming out of the bathroom before me. Because I’m sick and fucking tired of having to clean up YOUR URINE OFF THE SEAT. And I will call you on it when I find out who you are.

Every single bathroom is equipped with ass gaskets and I don’t understand why it is that you think this product is not sufficient enough for you. You “hover” because you don’t want to dirty your ASS?? Like, maybe your ass is especially sensitive to porcelain?? Do you have, like, gaping open wounds on your legs that might become infected by another’s ass pollutants?

Well, USE A FUCKING SEAT COVER. Because just like you don’t want YOUR precious ass to sit where another ass has sat, I don’t want to sit in YOUR URINE.

Thank you.