We are alive. More importantly, for the first time in almost four days, Cassidy didn’t spend the entire day laying on the couch coughing. The fever is FINALLY gone. Finally. Yesterday was the first day that it never got over 100. Whew. Today we went and got pedi and manicures. We were both going pretty stir crazy and really needed to just be OUT OF THE HOUSE.

And… Ben bought me WOW. So, I’ve been avoiding this game for like, 10 YEARS. Any internet geek will know why. But after having played City of Heroes and loving it, but never so much that I lost my job, I figured it would probably be safe to try. I really like it. It’s much more compex than COH, and it’s taken a bit to get used to the lingo (Quest, not mission. Priest, not healer.) and the genre change, but it’s fun. I think that I like the futureistic feel to COH more, and TRAVEL POWERS, but in time I think it will all click and feel like home.

Anyway, my main (and only, heh) character is a level 10 Night Elf Priestess on Rexxar named Sylaa. So look me up sometime and say Hi, or let me know where you are and maybe I’ll look YOU up.

And that’s really all I have to say about the last four days. Because that’s all that’s happened. Cassidy and I caught up on ALL the DVR’d TV shows, any soap opera that currently plays on TV, and we’ve eaten FIVE BOXES of Girl Scout cookies. Okay, that’s really it.

Cassidy has pneumonia. Bed/couch rest for the next four days + antibiotic + cough medicine with codeine = NOT A HAPPY 8 YEAR OLD!

I was telling Ben this morning how silly the girls are here at work. The ones that didn’t get flowers make sure to point it out and the girls that DID get flowers all say how “if he’d LISTEN for once he’d know I prefer YELLOW roses.” Or, “Yeah, that’s just what I need, more chocolate!”.

I feel sad for these girls. Sad that these women (who are ALL older than me) place so much value on such trivial crap. Like, choose to see the BRIGHT side of things. For ONCE. If he sent you chocolate he must not think your thighs are as big as you do, because if he did he’d have sent a box of Slim Fast. THAT would have been something worth complaining about!

During this talk I told Ben how lucky it makes me feel that we have eachother. Mainly, that I have him.

me: (K)(K)(K)(K)(K)
Benjamin: why all the kisses?
me: Well, I listen to the girls here find reasons to complain about Valentines Day and it makes me realize how lucky I am
Benjamin: well, I haven’t done anything today
so, how are you lucky today?
me: It doesn’t matter. You do things all the time
Benjamin: I do?
me: Yep.

So, why am I lucky? Let’s see…

1) I found The One. Knowing that with such certainty is a powerful feeling. Before Ben, I started to believe that feeling was just a myth. Something in movies and cheap paperback romance novels.

2) Maui

3) Ben has stepped up and proven to be a better father to my daughter than I ever thought ANY man could be. See, here’s the thinking positive part. I sometimes think that he’s too strict. I’m the lenient one, he’s the hard ass. That’s how our roles play out. BUT! He does these things, like coming home after a long day and sitting in shitty traffic for an hour and the first thing he does when he walks in is pay attention to Cassidy. Like, we exchange Hello’s, maybe kiss, or a ‘how was the drive’. But then he takes time to check on her. Is your homework done? Is your room clean? How was school? What did you learn today? Did anything funny happen? Have you figured out that quantum physics problem yet?

And I admit, there are days where I’m like, HELLO!! ME!! REMEMBER ME, ANNA, YOUR FIANCE, I HAD A GOOD DAY AND MY ROOM IS CLEAN AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT ONE GIRL WHOS BLOG I READ!!! But he does this because he loves her and he wants her to learn about being responsible and dependable and self reliant. Her future and the person she grows into is important to him. Cassidy and I are very lucky that he is a part of our lives.

4) He’s a bigger geek than I am and he doesn’t judge me for thinking that Voyager is the best Star Trek season or because I was Princess Leah for three Halloween’s in a row when I was younger. Or that I can totally kick his ass at Unreal Tournament. *swoon*

5) He’s passionate. And I don’t mean in the sexual sense. (Well, that too) He is passionate about life, about what he believes in and about the things he loves to do. I’m jealous of that sometimes. But it’s rubbing off on me.

6) He stuck by me when I was a manic, depressed, crazy wench. And be believed that I could get better.

7) I laugh. Everyday. At my own expense. Because him making fun of me is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. He’s the person that taught me to laugh at myself and best of all, to be able to appreciate the ability to do that.

I could really go on this way till my fingers can’t take it anymore. These are just a few of the things that I love, that I’m happy for, reasons that I think I’m lucky. Roses and chocolate are good, but knowing that I get to go home to the man of my dreams, my future husband, nothing compares to that…

Happy Valentines Day, Ben. (k)

Sometime in the last week, I think it was last weekend, Ben mentioned to me that he had a wound on the big vein that is on the back of your hand. Hold your hand in a fist for a few seconds and you’ll see it but it’s much more pronounced on men because they are big and strong and veiny. He mentions this as I’m getting ready to do something and he’s still in bed and I’m kinda running around somewhat not paying attention.

Ben: And you know what’s weird?
Me: Hmm?
Ben: I don’t have any idea how I got it.
Me: Yeah, I get them all the time. I usually don’t remember how I get my bruises.
Ben: But this isn’t a BRUISE. It’s a CUT. On my VEIN…
Me: Okay?
Ben: How would I get a cut right THERE and not remember it?

I could see where this was going now.

Me: Like, maybe you were abducted by ALIENS!!!
Ben: I know, right! Because you’d think that I’d remember something like a cut RIGHT THERE on the VEIN.
Me: Ohhhh… Let me see it…

For the last week, if he’s done anything out of the ordinary he points to the vein. And anytime I’ve wanted to blame something on him I point to the vein. HAR! Ben is a comedian.

Friday night at Red Robin I was feeling pretty good for the first time in a WEEK. I think I actually made it 30 minutes without coughing violently. He asked me if I wanted to watch a movie when we got home so I asked what we had…

Ben: That Nascar movie with Will Ferrel, Lost Season 1: Disk 1 and Lady in the Water.
Me: No Lady in the Water. Scarry movie. Won’t watch it. I’m in more of a comedy mood anyway.
Cassidy: Lets watch the comedy!
Ben: Do you now what a comedy is?
Cassidy: No.
Ben: Do you know what a comedian is?
Cassidy: Nope.
Ben: A comedian is somebody who does funny things or says funny stuff and makes you laugh.
Cassidy: YOU!!! *points to Ben*
Me: *chokes on my Vodka tonic from laughing*
Cassidy: *laughs at herself even though she has no idea why she’s so funny*
Ben: So what do you think comedy means?
Cassidy: I don’t know! *laughs*
Ben: Well if your mother had been able to maintain her COMPOSURE you might have had a better chance of figuring it out…
Me: *looks cute*

And I can’t help it! Because, Ben!! YOU ARE FUNNY. And funny = comedian and when she pointed it out that way so innocently and with such matter-of-factness I had no CHOICE but to laugh!!

And I was only going to write about the comedian comment but you seemed kinda disappointed that I didn’t mention to the internet that you were abducted by aliens out of our bed one night. That’s what you should have talked about last time the camera was on you.

I have some pics up of the before/after of Cassidy’s room. I realized looking at the pictures that it looks like the entire IKEA childrens department has thrown up in there. heh I let her pick out ALL of it on her own and I think she did a pretty dang good job.

These before pictures make the OCD side of me physically shudder in pain. I had avoided going in her room pretty much alltogether but I could just not take it anymore (the first person who tells me I’m turning into my mother will get virtually bitch slapped):

From the doorway looking in:

Standing by the bed against the far wall looking out:

AFTER!! So. Much. Better. And so worth the work.

Looking in from just inside the door:

Standing against the far wall looking out (I moved the bed away from the window to let more light in and I think it makes the room look deeper):

The bookshelf. This picture makes my OCD happy:

Lastly, what the hell ARE THESE?! She LOVES them and they are pretty dang annoying but still cute. They came from McDoanlds but I think I’ve seen them full size somewhere…

Only I can still vote. heh

In the last week I’ve rewired a power cord to make it work with a sun shaped ceiling light, rewired a light switch to take a dimmer, changed Cassidy’s toilet seat, hung curtains, and a green… thing on the closet, and a giant leaf in Cassidy’s room. I’d totally have pictures to post if flickr didn’t decide to have a massage at the exact second I went to upload them.

I’ve been in major redecorating mode and started in her bedroom and bathroom. I have before pictures that still make me sick to my stomach. Her room had become a massive toy dumping ground and her idea of “cleaning” it was to shove every toy, scrap of paper or article of clothing in any area that it would fit in. And often times if it didn’t fit she’d find a way to shove it in there anyway.

Last Saturday she went to a sleep over birthday (I’m pretending to not remember the sleep overs and the stupid stuff I did on them at her age) and as soon as I came in the house from dropping her off I started tearing the room apart. SIX garbage bags and 24 hours later I had it close to where I wanted it. Then Sunday afternoon she and I spent a few hours at IKEA picking up some of the things she’s been eyeing up for awhile. Some lights, curtains and rod, the giant leaf and the green contraption to hang in front of her closet. They are now all hung up and looking awesome and she’s EXTATIC to finally have her room looking “totally cool”. I was going to paint. Blue on top and green on the bottom for an ‘outside’ feel but we’ve hung up so many posters that I really don’t think it matters at this point. She’s taken to buying teeny bopper magazines and hanging the posters on the walls. Everywhere.

Anyway, that’s what we’ve been up to. Now that her room is finally done I’m going to start back on the kitchen, living and computer rooms. I plan to have them all painted by the end of February and then I can start buying wall art. I have a few things in mind that I want for sure but I’ve been looking and looking and looking and looking for something to hang on the wall that’s the second biggest focal point in the room and I can’t find anything that is ‘just right’. I think it’s because I have this image in my head and nothing I find is good enough because it’s not the image in my head. *sigh* I’ll find it eventually. Hopefully.

I changed my mind and decided to make all registered users able to view the private posts. Mostly because I’m lazy. I get an instant email whenever anybody registers and if it’s somebody I don’t want approved I can just delete them immediately. So yeah, that’s it. Off to be lazy on the couch and watch some TV with The Princess.

Night!

Yesterday talking about airport security on the phone:

Me: Well, I want to take some makeup on the plain with me but Sandra said they threatened to take ALL her makeup and THROW IT AWAY. So she told them, “Go ahead and take it and see what happens.” HA! I love that snatch. She’s totally lucky they even LET her on the plane after that! Anyway, they can’t take my makeup. They just can’t.
Ben: I thought you said anything under an ounce is okay. Just don’t take LIQUIDS.
Me: Yeah… so I guess the plutonium has to go in my suitcase?
Ben: Yeah, the makeup and the plutonium. Did you hear that NSA? We are taking plutonium on the plane to Maui on Saturday.
Me: TeeHee

After work I had to take my mom to pick up her car which is FINALLY finished after being rear ended so since I was on that side of town Ben suggested we go eat at this Greek place he found and has been RAVING about and has taken everybody EXCEPT ME to eat at. So, on the way through the lobby he stopped and ducked behind Christine’s desk. Christine is the adorable little lady that works the front desk at nVidia that always gives Cassidy chips and fruit and Snapple. She also has connections at a flower shop and Ben has gotten flowers from her in the past for Mother’s Day, Valentines, etc.

Me: What were you talking to Christine about?
Ben: I was checking something on her computer. She was having problems earlier.
Me: Yeah right.
Ben: Seriously!
Me: You are SUCH a BAD LIAR! She’d have called IT, not YOU.
Ben: *laugh*
Ben: So turn left here and go to Scott and turn left.
Me: Don’t CHANGE THE SUBJECT!
Ben: *grin*

While we were eating:

Ben: No really, Valentines is coming up and that’s why I was talking to Christine. That’s all I’m going to tell you.
Me: You are a bad liar.
Ben: I’m serious!
Me: Okay. I want tulips this year.
Cassidy: You already have two lips! One on top and one on bottom!

Yesterday was great. Cassidy love ALL her presents. Score one for Santa. We had a REALLY relaxed day. Opened presents, ate cinnamon rolls, Nana came over so we opened more, went to eat at the only place open (Chevy’s. I still like them. Ben still doesn’t.), came home and curled up on the couch and watched Ben play Zelda, got way more into it than I wanted to, Cassidy watched and played, and played, and played, watched a movie, fell asleep in Ben’s arms.

It really was an pretty slow weekend. Which I REALLY needed.

Home early on Friday with a sore throat. Slept till almost 4PM on Saturday with dry hacking cough. Hardly moved on Sunday except to run out and finally get my hands on one of the last copies of Zelda in the WHOLE WORLD. See above for yesterday when the throat stopped hurting but my nose decided to violently protest in what I now have dubbed The Snot Revolution.

Can currently breath out of only the left nostril. At work anyway because two co-workers had today off for PTO. It’s 32 minutes after start time and the other co-worker is MIA. That means everybody with a question/problem today is going to come to ME. Hopefully the cough and the battle cry of the Snot Amry scares them away…

EDIT! - Good news! I can hear out of my right ear now!

I’m exhausted. I had two of our friends girls Saturday for a sleep over. Cassidy is exhausted too. It was a lot of fun. Arts and crafts, playing video games, watching movies, Chuck E Cheeses… when it comes to that kind of stuff I can really lose myself in the fun with the kids. I really miss that. When I was in Bakersfield we took turns with the kids and I missed being surrounded by boisterous little girls.

It’s cool to see how different two girls can be. The littlest one (five) is just a sweetheart and has SO MUCH SPUNK. Strong willed but loves to sit on your lap and cuddle when watching a movie. Smaller than the other girls but wants to try and DO everything they do. You have to have a lot of Red Bull around to keep up with her.

The other girl is nine and is SO SMART. There are still times that I can fool Cassidy but not her. And it’s not just that she’s older, it’s that you just aren’t going to get anything past her. She seems to be a very analytical thinker. After I give her an explanation she thinks about if for a bit and will come back and tell me how that is not at all possible. It’s awsome. Kept me on my toes for sure.

Anyway, I really am exhausted. I have some pics to upload and post but I don’t even have the energy to walk to the desktop. I’m camped out on the couch with some chocolate Millanos, a warm blanket, an every warmer kitty and the heat of the laptop. So, until the time that I can motivate myself away from all this warmth, you’ll just have to take my word on the absurd amount of cuteness.

I asked Ben to start emailing me idea’s for Christmas gifts so he sent me a link to a nice set of headphones for work. Then he retracted with this:

from: Benjamin
to: Me
date: Dec 4, 2006 12:41 PM
subject: I only want one of these for xmas

link
–
Ben

from: Me
to: Benjamin
date: Dec 4, 2006 12:41 PM
subject: RE: I only want one of these for xmas

I’ll add this to my list of things to pick up this weekend!
–
Anna

Silly, silly man! Although, if I could I totally would. And I’d even let him drive it sometimes!!

Saturday my mom, Cassidy, Cameron and I went shopping… after we spent 25 minutes driving around looking for a parking place. Good. Lord. I love to shop, and I will endure a lot of things to do so, but 258,153 people who have no clue what the hell they are doing or where they are going or what’s going on around them almost kills the passion. Almost. I left my mom busy in Coldwater Creek trying on cruise clothes after about 5 minutes and told her the old people smell was getting to me and she could meet me at MAC. HA! She didn’t look nearly as amused as Cameron did.

After the three of them got done gorging themselves on Cold Stone, my mom told Cassidy that she could get a Build A Bear for Christmas. And since we were already at the mall, we could get it TODAY!

Once we got there she picked out the doll she wanted and we stood in line for 20 minutes before I started to go a little stir crazy so I headed to the bathroom and Cassidy started looking at clothes for Hello Kitty (which she later named Stacy). When I got out of the bathroom she had just started looking so I told her to hurry up because we needed to get back into line then went to see if my mom was getting close to the front. I left Cassidy for NO MORE than 45 seconds. Seriously. “Hi mom, oh you aren’t that close, I’ll go help Cassidy.”

In that 45 seconds she had managed to grab four outfits, four pair of shoes, a PJ set, slippers, a backpack, a purse, a set of hair bows, a pack of school supplies, a sleeping bag and a pillow.

Me: GOOD! LORD!!
Cassidy: What?
Me: What IS ALL THAT?
Cassidy: Everyting she needs!!
Me: I don’t think so. Put this back.
*put back sleeping bag and pillow*
Cassidy: What will she SLEEP IN?
Me: YOUR BED!
Cassidy: *sigh*
Me: And put three of the outfits back.
Cassidy: What will she wear TOMORROW?!
Me: The same thing she wore TODAY!
Cassidy: *rolls eyes*
Me: And put all this stuff back.
*puts back backpack, purse, school supplies, and bows*
Cassidy: But mom…
Me: You have this EXACT SAME Hello Kitty purse, Cassidy!! She can borrow yours! You have PLENTY of school supplies to share, you have at least 5 mini backpacks in your closet you never use, and enough hair things to dress up 2,000 little girls!
Me: And pick ONE pair of shoes.
Cassidy: ONE PAIR?! But… but. One pair?? Seriously?
Me: ONE PAIR! Nana isn’t going to buy you FOUR pair of shoes today. You can get enough for ONE outfit and maybe Santa will bring you some more, or get you a gift certificate to come get more, or you can spend some of YOUR money on these things. Now, pick ONE pair.

When I was telling my mom about all this Cassidy interrupted me…

Cassidy: And I had to pick ONE PAIR of shoes, Nana.

I could tell my mom was about to give in and let her go back and get more but I gave her that look of SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU’VE SPOILED HER ENOUGH TODAY and she didn’t. Instead she quipped:

Mom: Well, we know where she gets THAT from.
*stares daggers into me*
Me: Yeah, the shopping gene has been passed down from ONE generation to the NEXT for MANY YEARS NOW.
*puts up shield, deflects daggers, gains +2 defense and inflicts +3 damage to enemy*

I like that my mom is a shopping pal now instead of the overbearing mother she was a few years ago. And that she finally is starting to understand my humor.

P.S. - RUN to your nearest MAC and pick up some Glitter Liner. It’s fantastic and only available for a limited time. It goes on perfectly and dry’s quicky to set in place for hours and is SO MUCH FUN.