It pains me to write this because I really liked Hoda before today but: What the fuck were you thinking?

Seriously.

I always liked to believe that reporters were given a bad rap. That when people claimed they were taking things out of context, or that practically no background work had been done prior to a segment, that they were just over exaggerating or being whiny jackasses. But today you pretty much proved that the douchebag reporting reputation that has developed on network television is 117% true. You get an extra 17% because seriously, Kathy Lee Gifford? Whoever thought THAT was a good idea deserves an extra 17% of COMPLETE FAIL.

When you interviewed Heather Armstrong today on your show it was clear to me from the very beginning that both of these common failings were true. First Hoda mentioned a passage from one of Heather’s blog posts saying:

Hoda: “You wrote on your blog that you worry that your daughter will resent you because all of her business being put out there…”
Kathy: “Potty training and all those things that are kind of private.”

Well Hoda and Kathy, had you taken time to ACTUALLY READ THAT BLOG POST you’d have quite possibly also mentioned the rest of the passage that explains EXACTLY how Heather feels about it and, in fact, thinks in the long run that Leta will CHERISH all those stories.

From furniture Elhovothat dooce post:

You will resent me for your curfew and the fact that I will not let you leave the house in that mini-skirt. You will resent me for showing up to your school in my pajama bottoms and for raising my hand in a PTA meeting when I hadn’t brushed my hair. You will text message your friends to tell them that I am the most horrible person on the planet because I’m forcing you to study for your exam in the morning. You are going to think that I cannot possibly understand what you are going through, and you will slam the door in my face.

Will you resent me for this website? Absolutely. And I have spent hours and days and months of my life considering this, weighing your resentment against the good that can come from being open and honest about what it’s like to be your mother, the good for you, the good for me, and the good for other women who read what I write here and walk away feeling less alone. And I have every reason to believe that one day you will look at the thousands of pages I have written about my love for you, the thousands of pages other women have written about their own children, and you’re going to be so proud that we were brave enough to do this. We are an army of educated mothers who have finally stood up and said pay attention, this is important work, this is hard, frustrating work and we’re not going to sit around on our hands waiting for permission to do so. We have declared that our voices matter.

If that doesn’t profess the exact opposite of what Kathy Lee was trying not-so-eloquently to imply, that how dare you think about writing about your daughter online and *gasp* POSTING HER PICTURE, I don’t know what could possibly GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD short of getting in your face and shouting it through a blow horn.

Had Kathy taken FIFTEEN minutes of her time to ACTUALLY RESEARCH the topic and the person who she was interviewing she might have actually walked away from the interview without looking like the stereotypical, uneducated, assumptive “reporter” that she’s trying to play on TV. And if I had a dollar for every time that I was at my grandmothers and was forced to listen to Kathy talk about her sweet, precious Cody on NATIONAL TELEVISION I too could quit my day job and find something else to pass my time. Like publicly slamming other mothers from my make believe pedestal way up there. *points up*

Both of you are mothers and today you failed your fellow mothers across the nation. You could have turned that segment into a resounding statement about the exploding growth of a community of beautiful, powerful, motivated and brilliant women bloggers. Fellow mothers banding together to form a wave of support for complete strangers, for the mother down the street, for the mother sitting silently on the park bench, for the mother quietly suffering from postpartum depression, for the mother who’s so confused and upset and doesn’t know who to turn to… but instead you chose to go the sensational route.

Seriously. Shame on both of you.

-Anna (proud mommy blogger) Hirsch

I am really bad about meme-ing. I hardly ever do them when I’ve been tagged because I can never just give a one word answer, everything requires explanation! And the pressure of having to write is something that seriously feels suffocating to me sometimes. This one has been cool though because it’s only four and the DVR and food questions have been fun to read.

So I catually DID IT! YAY!

Amanda tagged me with this meme…

The meme consists of four questions requiring four answers, and then the tagging of four people.

4 Jobs I’ve Had in My Life:
- Gift wrapper at Sneads! Man, Stephaine and I could even make wrapping boxes in a small cramped room fun.
- Carmel corn bagger/sales associate (HA!) at the great Kern County Fair.
- Computer Sales rep at Best Buy. Please buy the warranty. Please.
- Professional blogger. I think since I’m making money off this site and others now, I can add that to my job list!
4 Shows I DVR
- Big Brother 9
- Lost
- House
- Family Guy

4 Places I’ve Been
(It was hard to pick only FOUR because I was lucky enough to have a Grandma growing up that took us all over the country, literally, when we were growing up. So I picked some of my favorite places.)
- Fombell, PA. I lived there in second grade with my Aunt Cathy, Uncle Larry and cousin Stefanie. Some of my best childhood memories were there. It was like my second home and I miss it dearly sometimes.
- Maui <3
- Washington DC. TWICE! And I can't wait to go back again and getting to take Cassidy with us.
- Mackinac Island, Michigan. I absolutely plan on going back there and staying at the Grand Hotel. It’s on my bucket list.

4 Favorite Foods
- Garlic Chicken Calzone DELUXE from Frugatti’s in Bakersfield
- Any souffle from Bella Vista in the Bay Area
- Clam chowder in a bread bowl from Spash Cafe in Pismo
- Mom: home made fettucini alfredo, Dad: rosemary (fresh of his plant) potatoes and turkey noodle soup (he makes the noodles too).

4 People I Tag
You, you, you and YOU! And Jenn MUST DO IT!! Like, every blogger IN THE WORLD has been tagged with this in the last week. If you aren’t one of them, TAG! You’re it!

*Title Quote: Elaine Liner: We Got Naked, Now What, SXSW 2006

I know that some of you have been twittering for quite some time and some of you have just been recently introduced to the obsession. It doesn’t matter WHEN you started though because the fact is, if you are twittering, you are hooked. You might send a tweet once a day or multiple times an hour, it doesn’t really matter because YOU HAVE BEEN SUCKED IN. MUAHAHAHA. I admit, my obsession has died down some since that first phone bill arrived with all 2,356 text messages listed and Ben was like, “THINK OF THE TREES!”.

I’ve tried to see if I can have just a select few tweets sent to my phone. Like, I don’t need every single one of Scoble’s tweets (even though I secretly wish I could follow him around from one techy junket to the next) but I would like to get Steen’s. And Jenn’s. And Sewwy’s. (PROPER SEO, Julie! Who, by the way, doesn’t Tweet which makes me sad.) So I think I’ll try when I get home to finally get that all lined up and working properly.

Ben has never really gotten into the whole twittering thing. When he’s seen me send a tweet from the phone or I’ve told him that YOU SO NEED TO TWEET he’s given me his standard “I love you dearly you hot ball of sexyness, but hell to the fuck no” look.

So I have to admit I was a little surprised yesterday the other day when he emailed me a link to a setup that sends you a tweet when your house plant needs to be watered. Surprised because maybe he was suddenly interested in twitter?! NO! Surprised because WE DON’T HAVE ANY HOUSE PLANTS! Well, we do have the one bamboo plant but you pretty much can’t kill those. I mean, you have to TRY and fail them. Maybe Ben would be more interested if there was a way to twitter you when your wife is premenstrual! Dude, somebody should get on that. As long as it doesn’t mean sticking electrodes to my ovaries and stuff. Because, no.

Man, I should really stop blogging when hopped up on Flu medicine.

So um, BLOG GIRLS! Are any of you thinking of attending BlogHer this year in San Francisco? Because it’s SO CLOSE to me. It’s like, right there *points North* and I promised myself last year that I’d attend this year and not be sorry I missed out on all the fun. But the thing is, I’d like to KNOW somebody going. I mean I know OF plenty of people going but I can’t exactly walk up to Heather Amrstong and be all, “HI! I totally stalk, I MEAN READ, your blog and think you are just the bee’s knees and can I sit next to you at the Cool Kid’s table?! Because that would be swell! And you said once that your shampoo smells really good can I just smell your head?! Wait! Where are you going? WHY ARE YOU SPRAYING ME WITH PEPPER SPRAY?!”

Or something.

And all of you who read my blog already know in advance that I’m crazy so it wouldn’t be QUITE as shocking to you. And I’ll probably go regardless but it would be nice to have somebody to hold my hair back after the cocktail parties.

Good lord the amount of money tax payers have had to dish out on Britney Spears in the last few months is a godamn joke. Court costs and armored caravans and paparazzi control. It’s just… blah. At first I thought the whole media circus was kind of LOLful but it’s gotten out of hand. Seriously, they are going back to court AGAIN to fight for “conservatorship” because she apparently hates her dad? Well she’s FUCKING BIPOLAR!! That means she probably loves her dad now and will hate him in 5 minutes. It’s her DAD and he pretty much can’t screw it up because if he so much as buys a pack of gum with her money, the media will alert us in real time. With video.

And it will be BIG NEWS! BREAKING STORY! Jamie Spears bought GUM with Brit Brit’s money! A court hearing is scheduled for 8:00AM tomorrow to BAN HIM FROM HER LIFE. FOREVER.

It’s kind of sad when there are primary elections going on all over the nation but the 5 o’clock news opens with a Britney Spears update.

Speaking of primaries! California’s is tomorrow which means I have about 24 hours to make a final decision between Obama and Clinton. They really are so close on so many topics and on MY “big ones” they’re practically twinsies. When I take those cute little online quizzes there’s a 5-10% split between them so it will basically come down to two things for me:

1) Who do I think is more likely to win against McCain who I think (and hope) will end up winning the Republican nomination.

2) Who do I think will actually keep their campaign promises.

I’m split at this point. I think that Clinton has a lot more experience with this, obviously, and will have the support of a man I already voted for once. And I know that people are saying to judge her separately from Bill’s presidency but realistically, you have to consider that he’ll play a large part in this one too. And also, HELLO! Bush’s DAD was president. Like he’s never turned to pops for advise?

And I think that Obama is a little too “green” to be President. I’m a more than a little wary of putting somebody in office that’s had so little experience, but I do think that he’s probably more likely to beat out a Republican in the general election.

I get all sick and nervous when I have to make a decision about a vote like this because I feel like, what if I choose the wrong person!? I’d feel like I was partly responsible for some kind of failure on a NATIONAL level! Oh, the pressure! And since CA is a blue state it’s even more important! *bites nails*

Okay, I’m going to stop being a melodramatic spaz case now and get back to work.

HAPPY MONDAY, EVERYBODY! I promise not to drink so much RedBull next Monday.
PS - If the comment links aren’t showing up for you a refresh seems to work. Also, you can click the title link to get to the comments. Not sure why they aren’t showing up on the initial page launch and will look into in this evening.

I really grew tired of the dark theme and the custom theme I’ve been working on is taking longer than I expected… because I am teh lazy.

So, Becca installed the Intense Debate comment plugin on her site and it’s awesomness made me giddy. It requires an account but you can sign up right here in the comments and then you get a cute little avatar, you can thumb up/down comments ala Digg, and the more you comment the higher your “reputation”. It’s full of fun bells and whistles. If you have a blog, check it out. You don’t have to do any special coding or CSS work, they do all that for you. Plus, reputation carries over to other blogs and you can keep track of the comments you’ve made on every blog that has it installed from one place.

Okay, enough of the sales pitch.

I also added google ads and I’ve had that other ad there for awhile. I’m part of a “test program” with that top ad and they are paying me pretty damn well to keep it there. I was going to sign up with blogherads too but they won’t let you advertise if you have another “above the fold” ad in place and since I have a six month contract to keep that ad there, I can’t do that. Frankly, I think it’s a little silly you can’t have both there as long as they are both above the fold. Lame.

Anyway, that’s what’s new. Enjoy! Non sales-pitchy post to follow!

Honestly? This is why I love this man so much. When I’m PMSing and I come across this thing that I think is SO GODDAMN AWESOME but will probably end up with me being shot at by a disgruntled asswad driver, he’s there to talk me down off that cliff.

Benjamin: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8e9a/
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8e9a/images/2422/
me: OMG!!! I WANT! I WANT!
me: I seriously want that.
Benjamin: Although its a funny idea, I still think that it might be a bad idea for you me: there are no cuss words!
And I bet my ’smile’ to ‘idiot’ would be better than you think.
*ratio
Like 3:1 at least.
And since I could actually SHOW the person what I’m thinking it would mean I’d be less likely to yell it at them when only you can Cassidy can hear it… because they’d KNOW. And that would be the ultimate satisfaction. No yelling necessary!
Are you serious though? I can’t have it?
Benjamin: I’m writing an email right now work related, I’m not even sure if its legal in CA
me: What if I promise not to use it while I’m PMSing?
Benjamin: is it legal in CA?
me: If it’s legal in CA can I get it?
Benjamin: its around the price point that you don’t need to ask, so I don’t know why you’re asking me
me: Because generally, with things like this, you are a better judge of good idea/bad idea.
Benjamin: bad idea
me: heheheheh
(k)
I love you. Even when you are trying to save me from myself.

A few minutes later:

me: hahaa I asked Claudia about it. I usually drive to lunch. Her answer: “As long as you never use it when I’m in the car with you!”

Yesterday Cassidy and I took turns playing Guitar Hero III all day long. Then today she went to her friend’s house (and ended up spending the night) while I did laundry, played a little WOW and went to see Charlie Wilson’s War with Lisa.

And then tonight I came home and found out that Amy died. I’ve read her blog on and off for quite some time and she was a pretty active member of a message board that I frequent. This is the first time that somebody from an online circle has passed away and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

I read back through her archives, and look through her flickr and it’s just… surreal. This person that was so upbeat and young and expecting her first child is just… gone. And what we have left of her are these blog posts and pictures and forum posts chronicling her life.

I’m always fascinated when people throw the “narcissistic” ball at bloggers. And there really isn’t a valid way to argue against it, right? I write about me because I assume that you are going to be interested in what I have to say about me. So yeah, anybody that has a personal domain carries around a healthy amount of The Veinâ„¢.

My dad likes to tease me about the narcissism of blogging and self portraits but we laugh about it because, it’s TRUE! I love me! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! And my dad bought me the PJ’s to prove it so really, I blame him.

My question to YOU is why YOU care so much? I write about me because I think that I am awesomely fantastic. But why do you read about me? And when you do, and you’re so appalled by it, why do you come back? Over and over. To read more and more. Why do you take time out of your day to comment or email and tell me how vein I am? Because all you’re doing is inflating the ego. I HAVE FANS! I must write more! MORE!

It’s this never ending debate I see rampaging the internet every where I turn. The bloggers write about themselves and the haters write about how much they hate you writing about yourself. “Mommy bloggers” are especially prone to this because a lot of parenthood is about failure. Lots and lots of bumps and bruises and finding out what works by realizing what DOESN’T. I’ve not come across a SINGLE mommy blogger that doesn’t have at least ONE regular commenter there telling them in every comment thread:

“I can’t believe you gave your child SODA! You fucking monster!”

“I can’t believe you posted yours child’s PICTURE on the INTERNET! What about predators?!”

“I can’t believe you told the WORLD about when your child fell down and cracked open his head! Where were you? Probably BLOGGING, you horrible, unfit, asswad! Get off the internet and raise your kids!”

And here I am saying it: I don’t get YOU. At least my focus is on ME. I write because it’s an outlet. I have this grand illusion that people will actually want to read what I have to say, that maybe they will enjoy it and get a little chuckle, or walk away with a new perspective, or just slightly less bored than when they sat down. But at the very core of it, I write because when putting it down “on paper” I have to actually form my thoughts and opinions into complete sentences and organize them in paragraph form and I’m foced to confront them. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gotten half way through a blog post and gone, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.”

Epiphany!

I sit down and blog knowing that today I will probably learn something new about myself, and two years from now I can look back on today and see how stupid I was back then. YOU sit down to read what I have to say to pick it apart and twist it into something evil and wrong and *gasp* vein!

So you tell me, who sounds like the bigger fool here?

P.S. - I don’t really have any haters. The “I” here was written to speak for bloggers as a whole. Remember, I’m too awesomely fantastic to have haters. BAM!

Jenn posted this meme the other day and I sat down and wrote out half of it and got sidetracked and didn’t finish till today.

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
Hell no. I try to look as ridiculous as necessary so the majority of the people don’t want to bother me. Sometimes I just write “CRAZY!!” on my forehead to get the point across better. The two exclamation points are necessary for that. I think that anybody who’s read my blog would understand my secret code and understand that they are exempt from the “bothering”.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
Most of them. I add a black and white border to pretty much every picture I take. Also, on a lot of them I duplicate layers and change the top layer property to make the colors pop. I also take all my shots in RAW form now so if I really want to manipulate something I start out by playing with hue/saturation before it even gets touched as a JPEG.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
I enjoy email of all kind. Especially from creeps because then I forward them to my friends and we have a good laugh.

4. Do you lie in your blog?
Please reread #1. I prefer to use “embellish a LOT” to “lie”.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
Wow, #1 really answers a lot of these questions for me!

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
Seriously? I have people telling me all the time to WRITE MORE ALREADY so not a problem. But I wouldn’t anyway.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
Not anymore. But I have been and yes, it helped. Imagine #1 if I hadn’t!

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?
In over 4 years I’ve deleted ONE comment but for the most part, I don’t like to censor people. And no, I don’t fake comments. I’d have a lot more comments if I did!

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?
Who in the hell writes these things?!

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
I’d like to think more but The Blond might prove otherwise.

11. Do you have a job?
Fo’ sho’, yo.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
I really don’t know. I’d love to be paid for writing because I actually enjoy writing much more than I ever talk about it here but I don’t think there is anybody out there that would actually PAY to read the insanity.

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?
All of them! Seriously, I’m fascinated by people and how different upbringings, locations, opinions, etc all vary.

14. Which bloggers have you made out with?
BEN!!

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
I don’t think I go either way. We live comfortably but everybody has their money issues and we are certainly not immune to that.

16. Does your family read your blog?
Yes. My dad reads and comments. My mom reads although I’m not sure how much because she pretty much refuses to acknowledge its existence and curls up into a fetal position and shakes whenever I mention it. Cousins read and comment. I know that more people have the address but have never let on that they are reading and if they ARE the should COMMENT.

17. How old is your blog?
The blog dates back to, gosh, you expect me to actually remember that… I’ll just go with a long time. I’ve had personal domains since 2003 and anything before that is certainly forgettable so I’ll just stick to that.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
Let me go check!

So according to AwStats my page views jump to over 1000 on the days that I actually post, but the rest of the time it hovers around 750-1000. I really think that page views are a silly way to judge a blogs relevance though unless you are using them for paid blogging. Quality over quantity and all that jazz..

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being , slutty, or a liar?
If you consider this another secret blog then, yes! Yes I do!

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
Nope.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
On my other blogs that are specifically to make money, yes.

22. Is blogging narcissistic?
I think it’s probably one of the highest forms of narcissism second only to taking a lot of pictures of yourself. But I think unless you let your ego get the better of you, there’s really nothing wrong with being a bit narcissistic.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don’t post for a long time?
I do actually. But not because I think the readers want it. I feel guilty because that means I haven’t taken the time to sit down and hammer things out.

24. Do you like John Mayer?
As long as he leaves me alone in the grocery store, we’re cool.

25. Do you have enemies?
Enemies? I don’t think so. ‘Enemy’ is a strong word. I certainly have people I’d like to backhand sometimes but the one thing I’ve learned well from Ben is not to hold on to those feelings. Life is too short to walk around hating people.

26. Are you lonely?
No. I have a lot of people to love.

27. Why bother?
Because never trying seems like a silly alternative.

I grew tomatoes!!! TADA!

I know, I know. Big deal right? Well, YES! It is a big deal! Because I’ve been trying to grow them for THREE SEASONS and this is the first time I’ve had a plant ACTUALLY produce a tomato.

In the past everybody told me to use Miracle Grow but I kinda feel like that’s cheating. I mean, do they genetically alter these fuckers to ONLY produce fruit if you chemically force them to? Maybe it’s some conspiracy that Miracle Grow has going on to up sales. But I dunno, I can see using it on flowering plants to balloon the bloom size to unnatural proportions but not something I’m going to eventually let Cassidy eat. I don’t need whatever chemical it is that causes the monster blooms to get into her system and somehow make her feet grow any bigger than they already are because they are already pushing the ‘unnatural’ envelope as it is.

I got some great news about a friend yesterday. And even though it wasn’t MY news I was so excited for them because I remember what it felt like to be in the spot they are in now and how wonderful it can feel and hearing THEIR good news actually put ME in a great mood! Funny how that can happen. Anyway, you know who you are and, YAY! Happy for your great news!

Ben was supposed to go to the track this weekend but money (it would be over $500 MORE then the $300+ he’s already spent on it AND he was at the track last week anyway which was probably another $500) and his head has started being a bastard again. He gets these headaches that come on randomly and literally floor him. He instantly gets hot (I’m sure his temperature goes up because he actually feels hot to the touch), feels nauseated, lays down and tries to sleep it off. He lays there and moans. That kills me. Two weeks ago when he was helping me with my exhaust he practically drove a screwdriver THROUGH his hand, washed it off and kept working like it was no big deal. So when he’s in so much pain that he’s on the couch groaning, I get worried. Really worried.

They have given him migraine medicine and so far it’s basically done: NOTHING. They are still coming and the medicine doesn’t seem to help AT ALL to get rid of them, or even help with the symptoms. Then for the entire following day he has what he describes as a ‘headache hangover’. Anybody else have these? Idea’s what it might be? I’m wondering if maybe some more drastic testing should be done…

Anyway, that was my Full of Randomness post for the week!