EDIT - It’s 4:00PM. I’m slightly tipsy amd waiting to start an hour long deep tissue massage. *has died and gone to heaven* /EDIT

So last night as Ben and I are getting into bed he says, “We aren’t going to the autoX tomorrow. We are going to Pismo.”

What? Pismo?!

So we are in the car on 101 just south of 46. We have reservations at ‘our hotel’ and plan on dinner at ‘our restaurant’. All just because he wanted to give me a romantic surprise…

Love. Him.

Have a good weekend everybody!!!

As Ben and I were walking through the aisle at the fabric store, I turned suddenly and heard the SideKick2 cam click from my back pocket. I was hoping that Ben didn’t hear it because knowing how much he makes fun of me for taking SO MANY PICTIRES EVERY DAY WITH THE PICTURES ALL THE TIME that he’d have fun with it for sure… But he started laughing right away and said, “You have to blog that”.

I’ve had a bit of Blogger’s Block. I’ve started at least half a dozen posts but the words don’t come out right and I start to ramble and get lost as paragraphs change direction and lead to nowhere. I’m sure it’s temporary. I really miss it, though. Feedback, creative expression, freedom. I dunno.

I hope everybody had a nice Mommy Day. We had breakfast at my favorite place with my mom then went shopping at MAC then came home and Cassidy and I planted. My dad sent me some seeds, plus I’d had some that I’d been wanting to plant, and Cassidy bought me a Gerber Daisy I wanted to get into the ground. Pretty soon the fence area in the front yard is going to be very colorful.

I wasn’t sure how to start the story of my new car. So, I’m starting from the very beginning. The first time I met Ben was online. On BakersfieldStreetRacing.com (BSR) to be exact…

*crazy wavy fade to flashback*

I was a moderator at the time and this n00b named Dinanify came on the forum and started a big stink. A couple of the local guys didn’t like Dinanify because they thought he might have a bigger penis faster car than them so they decided to talk a little whole lotta shit. I told the boys to play nice and closed the thread. Dinanify AIMed me to tell me that he wasn’t offended and that he had been laughing the whole time. Dinanify was cool!

Not long after we had a Christmas Toy drive to donate them to a homeless shelter. My friend, Crazy Redhead, assured me that Dinanify was HAWT and asked him to park his car by our booth. I was far too cold and far too busy to notice anything other than the leather jacket and shoes. They were nice shoes. Dinanify liked to shop. Dinanify was really cool!!

In late January I finally met Dinanify face to face out at the street races one night. He told me his name was Ben. That’s about all I remember because there was a lot of people, it was dark, goddamn cold, and I had been drinking 80 proof Rootbeer Schnapps in Dr. Pepper all night (original drink created by me and crazy Redhead known as Doctored Pepperâ„¢).

A few weekends later Crazy Redhead told me I HAD to take a ride in his car. It was a German car. How cool could it possibly be? It wasn’t even a V8!! But I was convinced as soon as I saw all the pretty buttons. So. Pretty. Ben raced a built Mustang and lost by half the width of a fly’s back leg. I was impressed! What was this German car that drove so well?

I did some research when he logged onto the BSR’s IRC chat (a boy with a pretty car with lots of buttons that was fast AND HE’S A GEEK *swoon*) and they started talking about M3’s. Not too long after he told us he worked at Nvidia. That isn’t really pertinent, but HE WORKED AT NVIDIA!!! It was not conceivable to me why women didn’t FLOCK to this man. As a matter of fact, he was having girl issues. Apparently some stupid girl was giving him the run around. (Aside to the girl: I don’t remember your name, but THANK YOU for being an idiot and letting him slip through your fingers!!)

*cue film to 3-4 months post divorce*

I wasn’t long before Ben wasn’t the funny guy with the crazy German car and the awesome shopping skills… he was the HOT funny guy with the crazy German car and the awesome shopping skills. And I noticed. And apparently he noticed me too because one weekend he drove into town and took me out on a date. In his crazy German car. And the first corner he took at about 45 miles per hour and I peed myself a little. Luckily he did this BEFORE we ate because he didn’t know then of my weak tummy.

The next weekend after about 10 corners at 45 miles per hour I looked at him straight in the face and told him, “YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY LET ME OUT OF THIS CAR YOU AN INSANE DRIVER.” He swore to me that M3’s were not like American cars… So to prove to me that he wasn’t crazy he took me to a long straight backroad, took the car to about 100 MPH, slammed on the brakes and came to a complete and controlled stop in about 2 feet.

So that was my introduction to M3’s. Since then at different times they’ve made me scream with laughter, cry out of frustration and throw up.

Not long after we went on that first date, we shared our first kiss in his M3. Top down, cool fall evening, millions of stars in the sky… [/mushy stuff]

*jump back to present time*

About two weeks ago, I told Ben I was ready for my own M3. After he peed himself, we started looking. Last Thursday, one day before I thought I’d get the car, Ben drove into the drive way in my M3 to surprise me. MY M3. And it was love at first sight.

Thank you, honey. Thank you for being so patient in the search, for finding me the perfect car, and most of all for the thought and planning it took to surprise me with it. After our conversation Monday, I look back and I realize just how much that really meant to me… and what it meant to you to be able to do it for me. (k)

Shortly after I wrote that last post Ben came home and he, Cassidy, and I shared some leftovers from the night before at Bucca De Bepos. My only logical conclusion at this point is that Karma REALLY didn’t like that post and decided to pay me back. X30237432

We ate dinner at about 7:00PM. By 9:00PM I was on the couch begging the world to stop moving and trying with all my might to hold back the eventual violent explosion from both ends of my body. We all ate the same things from the same food containers, but for some reason I got SO VERY VERY ill.

By 10:00PM I’d already thrown up at least twice and these visits were followed and proceeded by bathroom trips that I’m sure the people who live three streets over felt with substantial force. At 3:30AM I called the boss and left a message saying I would not be in the that day. At about 9:00AM I threw up for the last time… almost 12 hours later. Then I passed out. Getting up just long enough to get Cassidy from school, two drinks from Jamba Juice, sinus medicine at Walgreens, and drive home. And then fell asleep again. Till Ben got home. Then when he walked over to the chiropractor I fell asleep AGAIN.

My body is still weak. My bottom end is still “expelling” some of the poison. And I never want to eat any food again AS LONG AS I LIVE.

Today is one of those days you wish you could go back and start all over because the second time around can’t possibly be as bad as the first. Unless the second time contained white hot pokers and your bare skin. And even then, I might choose the second time over the first.