The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government.

All of Cassidy’s inbound email is sent to me. I get it ALL and unfortunately she’s new enough to this whole email thing that she gets all that crap “FORWARD THIS TO FIVE FRIENDS AND SEVEN GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU NINE DAYS BEFORE THE FIFTH DAY OF THE SIXTH MONTH FOUR YEARS FROM NOW” emails. It hurts. 99% of the time I just delete them when I see the first line teaser without ever opening them. But there’s that unfortunate 1% of the time that I get click happy and open them.

This is one that somebody sent to my ELEVEN YEAR OLD daughter this year. Because, you know, poison her mind with your biased, close-minded conservative bullshit while she’s still young:

LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT.

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET

1 – A JOB,
2 – A DRIVERS LICENSE,
3 – SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
4 – WELFARE,
5 – FOOD STAMPS,
6 – CREDIT CARDS,
7 – SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
8 – FREE EDUCATION,
9 – FREE HEALTH CARE,
10 – A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
11 – BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
12 – AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION…

And really, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! THIS! This is why I don’t read this bullshit but since I was TRICKED by my MOUSE BUTTON into reading this I feel like I just need to say a few things. For your sake, I’m not going to capslock it because I don’t have as much hate in my heart as this emailer. NOT ENOUGH HATE.

In North Korea you aren’t allowed to speak your mind unless it’s in agreement with the government.

In Iran they will hang you in public for robbery.

In Afghanistan, women aren’t allowed to work, own property, walk in public alone, go to school and the list goes ON AND ON. Oh also? If a woman is raped, it’s perfectly legal for her husband to kill her for bringing shame to the family.

Is Saudia Arabia, a 13 year old girl getting caught with a camera phone in school is punished with 80 lashings in front of her fellow students AND two months in prison.

I could go on, but I think I’ve made the point pretty clear*. So really, WE are the ones that have it wrong? Fantastic! If I find the guy that stole my bike from our garage a few months ago, maybe I should hang him from the tree in our front yard since, you know, clearly these countries have the right idea…

(*And I also won’t point out that ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS do NOT get all those things and anybody that thinks you can just walk across the border and are handed a social security card, a job and a place to live is a goddamned idiot.)

Hang on lady, we going for a ride!

You know that scene in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom where Mola Ram rips out that guy’s heart and it catches on fire but the guy keeps breathing and, you know, FREAKING THE FUCK OUT?

Yeah, I have a feeling that poor guy was slightly better off than I was when Cassidy told me today that she’s ready to control her own blog already SERIOUSLY MOM. She’s been wanting to for awhile and I kept making up excuses why NO YOU CAN NOT but she’s 11 now and calls me on my bullshit excuses. THE NERVE!

The comment is what really killed me.

KILLED.

ME.

I just don’t think the internet, or my heart, is ready for all this.

Because you all don’t think I’m crazy enough.

Let me just say this:

Trim it down to size with a light bulb.

The End

Last goodbye.

We had to run by the car grave yard today to grab two cables that go to the head unit (iPod and USB cable) so that we can sell it. I really didn’t think I’d get to see it again. It didn’t effect me QUITE as bad as last time. I think the wheels help. It’s just not the same without my wheels on it.

Tomorrow it’s officially GONE. Going up for auction. For the first week after the wreck, every time I saw an M3 I felt like I had just been punched in the face and had to fight back tears. That car just FIT ME. It felt like a second home. I know this sounds extraordinarily pretentious and stupid but until you’ve owned a BMW I just don’t think people get it. I literally felt like I was part of that car when I was driving it. We were one. With the suspension so stiff you could feel every groove and bump in the road, the intake making it so easy to hear the throttle response and the exhaust amplifying the motor noise, it was hard NOT to be one with the car.

But now I’m okay. Today on the way home I saw an kid in a red E36 M3 spot a bit of open road and mash the throttle just enough to hear all those sounds, and feel that feeling and I just grinned a knowing grin and giggled to myself.

That car will always be my favorite. I really think that. No matter how many cars I own in my life, that car was my first REAL love affair with a vehicle. And I know in my heart that I’ll own another M3 someday and I’ll love it and drive the hell out of it… but a little piece if my heart will always belong to ANNAS M. And just in case it ever starts to forget, I stole the front plate as a reminder.

Friday Five: “Second star to the right, and straight on ’till morning.”

I kinda miss doing the Friday Five so I think I’ll start again. As usual it’s three days late and not the one actually from this week but I’ve never been one to comply CORRECTLY. HA!

1) What time do you usually wake up on weekdays?
Every day is pretty much the same except that some days the snooze button gets the best of me but this morning was a typical morning and looked like this:

4:15AM – Alarm goes off.
4:23AM – Turn off alarm before it goes off again.
4:30AM – Get out of bed
4:50AM – Get out of shower.
5:00/5:10AM – Leave house.
5:50/6:00AM – Get to work
9:00AM – Officially wake up for the day.

2) What about weekends?
Ben and I rotate having to get up with the dogs. If it’s my turn, they’ll let us sleep till about 9:00AM MOST DAYS before totally dying of hunger and driving us insane. This weekend they were feeling particularly feisty and had me up by 7:00AM both days. If Ben gets up with them, I’ve been known to sleep till 11:00AM at which point Cassidy starts making noise outside my room till I get up.

3) What do you eat for breakfast?
SHAKEOLOGY! When I have it. I’m ordering more Chocolate today with my credit I got from sending my Greenberry back. I would go into the entire OMG SHAKEOLOGY RULEZ speech here but you can just read all about it on my health blog. But seriously, OMG SHAKEOLOGY RULEZ! My recipe is this:

1 cup plain light Silk Soy Milk
1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology
1 TBSP natural peanut butter
7 cubes of ice
BLEND!

I drink it on the way to work then wash out my cup when I get there. SOMETIMES I’ll wait till I get to work to drink it but I usually can’t wait that long because it’s too good to wait.

On days I don’t have the shake, I’ll grab a banana on the way out the door, or bring some bread with me to toast and I keep peanut butter and sugar free jam here at work.

4) Do you take a shower at night or in the morning?
At night when I exercise then again in the morning depending on how insane my hair looks when I get up. I’m bad about falling asleep with a towel still in my hair and then the next day it’s LIKE WHOAH!

5) How long does it take you to get ready?
See #1. I get out of the shower then leave the house 10 minutes later. When I get to work I’ll put on minimal makeup, usually it’s MAC Studio Fix powder for foundation, NARS blush in Orgasm and then whatever mascara I love at the time. It takes about 2-3 minutes tops. Also, I use the heater in the car to dry my hair in the winter, then roll the windows down in the summer. I know that sounds crazy but if I did all that at home, makeup and blowdry would add another 30-45 minutes to my morning and I already get up early enough. Stupid thick hair…

If I’m getting ready go out and actually look nice (full makeup and making my hair look nice), it’s about a hour from getting out of the shower to out the door.