Ben woke up this morning with the hankering to play some tennis. He usde to play in highschool. I have NEVER EVER been good at tennis. AT ALL. I consider it a HUGE accomplishment when I make CONTACT with the ball.

Should be good for a few hours of fun. I’ll try and snap some pictures of the jackassery.

I think I might have had a panic attack today.

I was sitting at my comouter looking though jobs and submitting resume’s and all of the sudden I had this uneasy feeling like I needed to get up and DO something. I paced from bedroom to kistchen to living room and back about three times jsut looking around. All of the sudden I started to feel like I could not breathe. Like there was a tight band around my chest that was being tightened so I could not catch my breath. Then my hands started to tingle and I could feel my heart like, missing beats. Right as my heart started not beating right I realized that I NEEDED to get out of the house. Ben keeps asking me to explain that feeling but I can’t. I just KNEW that I HAD to get out of the house RIGHT AWAY. I grabbed my keys and got my sandals on on the way out. My first thought was, ‘Get in the car and drive to nVidia.’ But as I closed the door I realized I didn’t have my garage door opener or my cell phone and there was NO WAY I was going back in the house to get them. The thought of opening that door and going INSIDE the six feet to the bar to grab the opener literally made me feel like I wanted to VOMIT. I could NOT go back in the house.

So I went for a walk. I walked around our ‘block’ which is about a 1/2 mile walk. When I got home the panicy feeling was much better. Not gone, but something I was able to think past. I just could not sit still. I cleaned the kitchen, our bathroom, did a few loads of laundry, kept Cassidy busy cleaning.

Ben came home early (I think because he was worried about me) and told me that if I could not sit still for 10 minutes and REALX he was going to make me go to the doctor RIGHT THEN. So I sat down and posted those Open House pictures that I’d been meaning to post for two days.

The feeling finally started to go completely away as we sat down to eat dinner at Buca di Beppo’s. I’ve never ever had a panic attack before, and to be quite honest, I’m not even sure that’s what happened today. I have no idea why I would have a panic attack while sitting in front of the computer doing mindless stuff. I just know that I don’t EVER want to feel that way again.

Kids who are mentally challenged still ride the short bus to school. I mean, I’d figured that after all the jokes and stuff, they would have stopped doing that. Then after dropping Cassidy off this morning I realized that they still do, in fact, ride the short bus.

And I was reminded of all the times that I laughed at other people who were the butt of ’short bus’ jokes when one of the kids that Cassidy LOVES gets off the short bus and I feel like I’ve shrunk to the size of a grain of sand. A grain of sand that somebody should have kicked hard into the nearest puddle of mud and left me there to drown in murky hell.

I am very sensative to people calling other’s ‘retarted’ or making fun of people who are mentally or physically handicapped. Especially because of my awsome nephew Ethan who, despite having a slight case of CP, is one of the funniest, upbeat and smartest little dude’s I know. Why I assumed that these kids didn’t actually ride the short bus anymore is beyond me. I guess I just figured that it would be cruel to add more ammo to throw at a group of kids who already have a lot stacked up against them.

Ben assured me that God would forgive me. But if you include the second piece of chocolate cake I ate last night ON TOP of all this… I’m not so sure.

While Ben went to an autocross with the boys in Monterey, Cassidy and I spent the afternoon at the aquarium. It was great fun.

After the aquarium we met up with the man and ate at Bubba Gump’s. Man, that place has some amazing food.

On the way home, I had a little run in with the law becuase my tags are a little expired. I could not help but snap a picture. The officer was VERY nice and just told me to get it taken care of in the next 30 days and send in the proof and let me go after asking for my signature.

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two, shiny silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son….

“Go get your mother.”