I write things
Happy Father’s Day to my most amazing dad. He who taught me the proper way to fry and egg (IN BACON GREASE, DUH) and to never trust a man that asks you to pull his finger. You know, all the important things.
Also, Happy Father’s Day to Ben. Who loves, guides, cares for and makes Cassidy laugh every single day. We are both better off because we have you in our lives. <3
From: Benjamin Hirsch
To: Anna Hirsch
Hey honey,
can you round up all of my dirty black adidas socks and nike shorts and run a load for me?
From: Anna Hirsch
To: Benjamin Hirsch
I think I probably could if I applied myself.
From: Benjamin Hirsch
To: Anna Hirsch
just make sure you warm up and stretch first
Back story: We taught Cassidy from a very early age the difference between “can” and “may/will”. Asking somebody if the CAN do something is just asking if they have the ABILITY. OF COURSE I have the ABILITY to wash your clothes. But they are way upstairs and I’m lazy and tired and on my period and I can continue to come up with excuses all day long because I’m a woman so it’s a built in skill.
From: Anna Hirsch
To: Benjamin Hirsch
You said “can”! NO LAUNDRY FOR YOU!
From: Benjamin Hirsch
To: Anna Hirsch
From: Anna Hirsch
To: Benjamin Hirsch
You are not allowed to use your hot sexy body to….Wait, what were we talking about?
From: Benjamin Hirsch
To: Anna Hirsch
😉
From: Anna Hirsch
To: Benjamin Hirsch
Okay. I started a load of all your whites. They should be done by the time you get home.
From: Benjamin Hirsch
To: Anna Hirsch
uh… please tell me you’re joking, the socks/etc are all clean (near the bed). this is what I wrote:
Can you round up all of my dirty black adidas socks and nike shorts and run a load for me?”
From: Anna Hirsch
To: Benjamin Hirsch
Well, it’s not my fault I got it wrong. You had to be all “look at my chiseled abs of steel” and “let me just flex my MAN MUSCLES”.PS – I was kidding. All your reds are in the washer.
From: Benjamin Hirsch
To: Anna Hirsch
…
*He’s probably going to be frustrated that I mentioned his grey hair but you know what? Grey hair is hot. He doesn’t realize that the reason I do these things to him is because every time I do another hair turns color and the more they do, the hotter he gets. I’m doing this for YOUR GOOD, BEN!
The other day it was late and we wanted a movie to watch so I picked Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers extended edition on Bluray. There is never enough Lord of the Rings. Not in ALL THE DAYS.
So we are watching and Aragorn asks Legolas what his elf eyes can see. And as Legolas answers that they are taking the hobbits to Isengard Ben starts to chuckle and we have a conversation that goes something like this.
(Warning: The following conversation is how it went in my head. Where there is more crazy. And pie.)
Me: What?
Ben: What?
Me: You laughed. What was so funny?
Ben: THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISEGARD! GARD! GARD! GARD! GARD!
Me: What the actual fuck, Ben!?
Ben: You’ve never seen the video?
Me: I’m not sure how this is a laughing matter! They are taking the hobbits to fucking ISENGARD, BEN! ISENGARD! Where you know what’s going to happen? Saruman is going to probably torture them into telling him where the ring is and then they are going to KILL Mari and Pippen, Ben. They are going to kill Mari and then who’s going to tell Desmond that it’s not Penny’s boat!?
Ben: …
Me: …
Ben: Hand me your iPad.
And then this happened.
And my mind BLEW THE FUCK UP WITH AWESOME.
You’re welcome for the ear worm.
