Most of the time.

I know those sounds kind of braggy (because I am totally bragging) but I make CUTE OFFSPRING. Are you allowed to call a tween cute?

TOTAL TANGENT ALERT: For a few years now I’ve been calling her The Tween, formerly The Princess, sometimes still The Brat. But in a week she is going to be an ACTUAL TEEN. Minus the W. Plus LOTS AND LOTS OF GRAY HAIR. AND CAPSLOCK. HELP!

Anyway, for the last few years we’ve been getting Cassidy’s eyes checked the week before her birthday and every year it’s the same. “Congrats! You have 20/20 vision! You didn’t inherit your mother’s awesomely bad eyesight! That’ll be $20.00, have a good year!”

Then this year I went in expecting to get the same news, pay my $20.00 and get out of there fast enough to run my car though the drive through car wash. I love the drive though car wash. CHEAP FUN!

Instead it went something like this: “Congrats! You have 20/20 vision! You didn’t inherit your mother’s awesomely bad eyesight! Although you do have an astigmatism and that’s why your mom has been telling you for a year that your 0’s look like 6’s and doesn’t SHE feel like an asshole for not realizing it and making you redo your problems all those times because they looked WRONG to her but RIGHT to you. That’ll be $100.00! Have a nice year!”

Jerk.

Cassidy has really started to form a… unique sense of style. Basically, the less that matches the better. It’s endearing and sometimes blinding with the BRIGHT COLORS. Above all, she does NOT WEAR PINK. The glasses I bought last week, BRIGHT PINK Juicy Couture. I pointed them out to her today and she did the finger-down-the-throat gagging motion.

TWEENS!

So I know right away that:

1) Her glasses would be blue.
2) I was going to hand her as many pink pair to try on as possible to see how many different ways she could demonstrate to the room how much disdain she possessed for her horrible mother.

At one point the lady helping us pulled me aside.

Lady: I don’t think she LIKES pink.
Me: Oh, yeah I know, she HATES pink.
Lady: Okay…

10 seconds later.

Me: TRY THESE REALLY CUTE PINK ONES!!
Cassidy: *death glare*
Me: I love you.
Cassidy: I hate you.
Me: Awwwwwwwwww! *hugs her*
Lady: …

She ended up getting these adorable blue and black Candies frames with little flowers on the side with rhinestones in the center. But only because she couldn’t find a decent pair of “Urkel glasses”.

When we were leaving she had a big grin on her face.

Me: Your glasses are really cute.
Cassidy: Thanks! I really like them.
Me: I’m glad.
Cassidy: Thanks, mom.
Me: You’re welcome.
Cassidy: I don’t hate you.
Me: I know.
Cassidy: Most of the time.

You guys, this kid.

I love her so much.

Most of the time.

1st pair of glasses!

Why I will not selectively remove you from my ticker and why YOU are responsible for YOUR OWN security on Facebook.

So here’s the thing. The new Facebook. We love it (TIMELINES ARE AWESOME!!) and we hate it (new news feed? Sucks ass).

And then there’s the ticker. Oh, the ticker. People seem to be REALLY REALLY upset about the ticker. But here’s the thing, all that stuff that people are seeing, they are seeing because of the privacy settings YOU and YOUR FRIENDS have set up. If you comment on an update that was posted as “public” (or “friends of friends”), everybody can see it (or everybody you are friends with) in the ticker, on the wall itself, on your wall, it’s… you know… PUBLIC. If you post on a status that was marked as “private” or “friends only” then nobody can see it but you and your friends. It won’t show up in the ticker or anywhere else except on that person’s status update.

Here:

Facebook says that the new News Feed and the ticker do not affect your privacy settings. Ticker will only display information that you’re already able to see anywhere else on Facebook. Facebook does say, however, that if you start seeing stories that you haven’t noticed before, it’s likely because “ticker makes things easier to discover. It doesn’t mean that privacy around Facebook has changed.

To control who sees your posts in the News Feed and ticker, be sure you use the privacy control in the Update Status box. Also remember that the comment privacy is tied to the privacy of the post: If you comment on someone’s public post, your comment is thereby also public.(source)

And I love all of my facebook friends, ALL OF YOU. DEARLY. A LOT. But I will not respond to this request:

Do me a favor: please hover over my name here, wait for the box to load and then hover over the “Subscribe” link. Then uncheck the “Comments and Likes” option. I would rather my comments on friends’ posts not be made public. Thanks!

Repost, if you don’t want your EVERY MOVE posted on the right for everyone to see! I’ll do the same for you if you want; just click “like.”

Because all that stuff? It’s stuff I can see just by clicking on your profile! It’s been there ALL ALONG, it’s just more convenient to see it now because it takes one less click and is streamed right there on the right. It’s not showing anything I couldn’t see already!

I highly suggest you take a second to check your privacy settings and have it set “friends” if you don’t want people’s comments on YOUR POSTS to be public or show up in the ticker. The thing that bugs me the most is that I’ve seen people with PUBLIC Facebook profiles ask me to do this. I JUST… WHAT!?

Instead of asking ME to censor you, take the time to do it yourself and if you don’t want your comments to show up publicly, don’t post comments on people’s status updates that are public.

This to me is common sense but at the end of the day, follow this common rule: Don’t post ANYTHING online that you wouldn’t want the entire world (and everybody on facebook) to read.

My Case for Torrents.

So here’s the thing. I download torrents. I mean, I’m pretty sure that everybody has done this at some point but after reading a comment thread the other day where people were basically condeming every person that has ever downloaded a torrent straight to the 11th ring of Hell (the one where you are forced to listed to that horrible Friday song on repeat at full volume FOR ETERNITY) I wanted to say something. Problem is, I can’t remember where I saw it so instead I’m going to justify myself to all of you who probably do it too. Because I’m pretty sure most of my readers are soleless geeks.

The main point that people were making is the fact that you are “pulling money out of the pockets” that create the content. Now, they were specifically mentioning actors and I was like yeah, because poor Charlie Sheen was only making 1.5 million dollars per episode. I bet he is really feelin’ it in the pocket book. Poor guy…

Granted they don’t all make that much but even those cute little brats from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody make $20,000 each per episode. So at 28 eisoded in the second season they each earned $560,000. This doesn’t include endorsement deals, books, ETC!

And don’t even get me started on what movie stars make. It’s obscene. Seriously.

ANYWAY! I’m not as concerened about the actors as I am about all “the little people” that work on set, catering, wardrobe, you get the idea. I do think that THEY are the ones that people should be more concerned about.

Lets veer off that tangent and back to the topic.

My main arguement is this: I DO pay for all these shows. We pay for cable, including HBO and all that jazz. We pay for movies that we really love (plus the outrageous ticket prices to see them in the theatres usually once a week) and know we will watch over and over, pay for Netflix, pay for Hulu+ we pay and pay and pay. And it’s awesome that most major networks offer some kind of online viewing option and that’s great if you happen to have an internet connection available. But what if you don’t?

Once you remove the internet equation your choices become limited. You can rent Movies from iTunes for $5.00 each or you can pay $3.00 PER TV EPISODE to buy them. Or you can pay for the DVD or Bluray and hope it comes with a digital copy (again, we do this with movies we love) but other than that, on a phone or tablet you really don’t have any other options.

So I download them.

Honestly, it seems really silly to pay $5.00 to iTunes JUST to watch something on the go. Especially when the same movie is available from RedBox for $1.00 to watch at home. The pricing is ridiculous. If you want me to pay for it don’t try to stab me in the pocketbook with a dull knife in the process.

If there was a service out there that let me download a season of a show for $10.00 or LESS I’d consider it but even that is pushing it. $50.00+ is STUPID. BE REALISTIC.

Just for the record, I ONLY download TV and Movies. I got a Nook for Mother’s Day and I’ve paid for every single book I’ve read. I just can’t get behind NOT paying at LEAST once for something. With TV shows and movies, I’ve either paid via cable subscription or in a theater so I don’t feel bad not paying a SECOND time. Same thing applies to music. I buy all of it.

So what do you think? Do you break the bank just to catch up on your favorite TV show? What do you think would be a “fair” price to rent movies or TV shows to watch on a mobile devise?

33

????????Because I don’t have the energy for a long post, here is my birthday weekend wrapped up in pictures.

Breakfast and my favorite place with my mom, Cameron, Ben and Cassidy. Eggs Alexandria and Los Gatos Cafe.
Eggs Alexandria at Los Gatos Cafe.

Cassidy and her hot chocolate.

My new Emeril copper bottom cookware from Cassidy and Ben. Even more special than the fact that I’ve wanted these FOREVER, is that Cassidy was so proud to give them to me after chipping in her own money.
My new Emeril copper bottom cookware from Cassidy and Ben.

My big present from Ben. YOU GUYS, I have wanted an over the range microwave FOREVER. We have a countertop microwave and it takes up so much room and I hate that something we use MAYBE once a week takes up so much room. It gets installed next Saturday. WOOHOO! Thanks so much, honey! 🙂
My new Prescious.

Cake NOMS!
Birthday cake NOMS.

Got all dressed up for a fancy pants dinner with my mom, Cameron, Ben and Cassidy at Shoadowbrook. It’s one of my top five meals of all time. FOR SERIOUS.

Got pretty for my birthday dinner. :)

Shadowbrook is beautiful.

My champagne and Curaçao and my mom's cosmo.

My extraordinarily handsome husband got dressed up too. <3 Ben and I.

It was a beautiful day. Good food, my awesome family and some pretty amazing gifts.

Hope you all had a good weekend! 🙂

#WINNING

Ben and I might be a little competitive. It’s mostly fun and light-hearted but you can bet your ass if we pay mini gold, SOMETHING IS ON THE LINE. Pride, sure, but BRAGGING RIGHTS. And the right to say I am #WINNING. Never underestimate the power of the #WINNING. The #WINNING can carry you through days, weeks… MONTHS.

Ben: I’m pretty sure I’m right about this.
Me: I AM THE MINI GOLF WINNER!

End scene.

He’s blogged three times this week. THREE DAYS IN A ROW. Ben is #WINNING at blogging. (Although I’d just like to point out that I attempted the August 30 Day Photo Challenge last month and blogged 15 days in a row so I still have the #WINNING streak. Yes, I realize I didn’t finish the challenge. I even win at losing).

Did you know that I have a birthday coming up? I DO! It’s Saturday. I like lilies, chocolate and cash deposited into my Paypal account. And pie. Lots and lots of pie. Just in case you were wondering.

So about a month ago I got a notice in the mail that I’d need to take the written driving test to renew my license this year by my birthday when it would expire. A month ago. I took the test today.

And let me tell you why. So far, I have always been able to use my driving test SIXTEEN YEARS AGO as the #WINNING. See, I scored a 98% on my test and Ben scored a 92%. So even though TECHNICALLY he can drive circles around me in his sleep while blind folded with one hand tied behind is back, I am still #WINNING. ON PAPER. Just because he can make me hurl in less than 5 laps on the race track and has made me pee myself a little on back roads drives, ON PAPER I am a better driver. There is actual PROOF.

So now I have to take this test and the #WINNING is on the line an I am nervous. Guys, I can not lose this. I NEED this. If I lose this I lose EVERYTHING. This is the ultimate #WINNING. I might as well just tattoo a big fat L on my forehead and resign myself forever to the fact that I no longer have this high ground with which to cast judgement.

I NEED MY HIGH GROUND.

So today is the day. I can’t put this off any longer. I have to take this test. And I have to pass. And not only do I need to pass, I need to pass with a #WINNING score. It’s go big or go home.

So I spend about two hours today taking practice tests and reading through the handbook and retaking the practice test and grilling my little brother who just had to take the test three times before he passed the other day and the whole way home I’m reminding myself 100 feet, 15MPH, right-of-way hierarchy, max BAC levels, I’VE GOT THIS!

So I get to the DMV and I pay my $31 (RIPOFF!), I get my thumbprint, I get my test, I walk to the table, I pick up my pen and…

BLANK! MY MIND IS BLANK! DO YOU STOP ON GREEN AND GO ON RED? RED IS THE PRETTIER COLOR! LETS GO ON RED! YEAH!

And I can see my high ground start to quake and flatten and I AM GOING TO BE #LOSING!

And then I remembered Ben’s recent calm. Told myself to snap the fuck out of it and… did.

So I take the test to the desk, hand it to the lady, she walks over and checks it, walks back and starts typing on her computer without a word.

Me: So…
Her: *typing*
Me: Did… I pass?
Her: Yeah.
Me: YES! *fist pump*
Her: *blank stare*
Me: How many did I miss?
Her: None.
Me: YES! BAM!
Her: *blank stare*
Me: Sorry, I just totally needed this. I have to beat my husband at the driving test scores.
Guy behind me: *snicker*
Her: *blink*
Me: We’re just, we’re competitive. Well, I’m more competitive than he his. Really he’s not competitive, it’s just me. I just need to beat him. Because of the high ground.
Her: Can you please stand behind the red line and smile?
Me: SURE! BECAUSE I’M #WINNING!
Her: Now, please?
Me: Okay.

*take picture*

Me: So, I get to keep the test right?
Her: *sigh* Yes.
Me: YES!
Her: You can go now. You’re done.

She must not be married. Or slightly insane.

#WINNING

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