Year: 2010

This Last week’s Friday Five just seemed odd and yet worthy of posting. Because odd is what I do best.

1) What’s something that demands ketchup?
I guess french fries although I prefer mustard with most sides like french fries and onion rings and even on my hot dogs. I can do without the ketchup but DON’T FORGET THE MUSTARD. And onion. And relish. KTHXBYE!

2) What’s the best thing to do with the leftover packets of cheese and red-pepper flakes you get with pizza delivery?
Throw them away. I totally just did that about a month ago. We had YEARS worth of that crap taking up an entire drawer in our kitchen… one that had moved from the last house to this one. Finally I was like ENOUGH OF THIS when I opened it and was physically attaced by some Taco Bell hot sauce. We haven’t had Taco Bell in probably over a year. Shit had to go.

3) What’s something (besides salad) that’s good with salad dressing?
Italian or sesame dressing make excellent chicken marinades.

4) What’s a condiment you’re especially brand-loyal to?
I’m not really brand loyal with condiments. I love to try new things so I’m always grabbing a different brand or flavor combo. With things like mustard? Well, yellow mustard is pretty standard and hard to screw up.

I take that back! Woeber’s makes the BEST horseradish sauce EVER.

5) What’s the weirdest use of condiments you’ve seen by other people?
Mayonnaise as a dip for ANYTHING (like french fries). *barf*

Also, yew I realize it’s Wednesday but it’s a four day week so it’s really like my Thursday which is one day before Friday so I’m really only one day early. Or five days late since it was last week’s FF. Or I’m crazy and you can just read it and stop judging me! SHEESH!

/me winks.

I am overly tired but have been wanting to blog for over a week and every time I sit down I have this perfectly written post in my head and just need to get it to move from my brain to my fingertips and then… something distracts me. So I do this like 10 times and now I have 10 perfectly written blog posts in my head and then I’m overwhelmed and instead of getting all of them down independently you get one blog post full of runon sentences and jumbled thoughts.

Very much like that one that just happened.

So let’s see. Samus is doing well. Ben only threatens to evict her like three times a day now. She sleeps with Kumo on his bed some nights which makes me smile 1st thing in the morning… till she attacks my feet when I’m getting out of the shower. Danica thinks she’s the best play toy ever invented, Hans is playing pretty nice with her and KC is still pissed there is a creature other than her existing in the same house which is exactly how she’s acted for the last 11 years so I assume it’s all good.

Here’s an obligatory picture of pet cuteness:

Three weekends ago Ben and I drove to Bakersfield to witness something AWESOME. My very good friend for YEARS AND YEARS Julie married the love of her life in a small, beautiful, perfect ceremony. They read their vows off an iPad and had a “Wedding for Dummies” book the officiant (a good friend of theirs) held. PERFECT! I am so happy for her. They wrote their own vows and when Chris said his to Julie, it was just… so perfect! I can’t properly express how happy I am that she found a man that loves her and cherishes her and appreciates all the things I’ve loved about her for all these years.

Here’s an obligatory picture of Julie cuteness I got of her and her boys. She loves them so much and this picture MELTS MY COLD DEAD HEART.

Ben is doing well. He’s still contracting back at nVidia and we all have our fingers crossed that he will get hired back on full time. This go around he’s getting to work on the Tegra chipset so he’s getting to play with all the top smart phones and tablets and I’m kind of jealous. He’s also really hot. That’s not new news or anything, I just wanted to throw that in there.

Here’s an obligatory picture of hotness.

Geekmas was great. I now have 2.6 terabytes of data storage available and Ben now has a PS3 which means BLURAY! The day we bought the PS3 I made Ben watch all three Lord of the Ring movies back to back. I’d totally do it again tomorrow.

I think that’s everybody other than that 12 year old tween girl that lives here with us and sometimes even graces us with her presence and on particularly giving days, even talks to us. She is well also. I’d post pictures of obligatory cuteness but she just got back from being at her dad’s for a week and I haven’t been able to shove the camera in her face yet. I have been SO BUSY at work and she’s been busy catching up with her friends because she had to spend an ENTIRE WHOLE LONG WEEK away from them and the HORROR was just too hard to stand it a second longer.

So here’s some obligatory cuteness of ME instead. You’re welcome and goodnight.

Ben asks me what I’m knitting (a pink striped scarf) and I can see in his eyes that he’s very much NOT in love with my awesome pink scarf and he looks down at his laptop (and I assume facebook) and a few seconds later says:

Ben: How do you spell fuchsia?
Me: A-S-S-H-O-L-E And also it’s not FUCHSIA, it’s HOT PINK.
Ben: *searches google for fuchsia and holds up screen*
Me: THAT IS NOT PINK! SEE!
Ben: Hold it up to the screen!
Me: *holds it up* SEE! NOT FUCHSIA!
Ben: Looks close enough to me.
Me: *holds up label for yarn* Do you see what that says? HOT PINK!
Ben: I can’t see that far.
Me: I hate you.
Ben: I love you too.

LOOK! PINK!

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you’ve already heard about this but there is enough cute to warrant a blog post and I did one for Hans and one for Danica. Apparently I didn’t do one for Kumo. FAIL.

I’ve wanted a kitten for awhile for a few reasons. One, KITTEN! Two, when we introduced Kumo to Hans we royally fucked up. We didn’t ACTUALLY do an introduction if fact. We were letting Kumo smell around upstairs the day we got him and Hans came out of Cassidy’s room and saw him and tried to kill him. I’m not exaggerating in the least. It was a full on, claws out, teeth out, attack that drew blood and left Kumo with an understandable fear of the entire feline species.

Over time we’ve gotten him to somewhat relax around KC enough that they can be on the bed together on Saturday mornings and as long as nobody makes any kind of sudden movement. But Hans, no. If Hans and Kumo happen to see each other IT. IS. ON.

We’ve been wanting to “reintroduce” Kumo to cats but knew that it would be best if it was a kitten and one that young enough to not hate dogs yet. We though about “borrowing” a kitten from somebody but I wasn’t sure exactly how to word it without seeming like a douche. “HI! Can we borrow your kitten for a few hours, or a day, and if our dog doesn’t eat it, we’ll totally bring it back!”

So then last week our friend Lisa posted on Facebook saying that the San Jose Animal Shelter had kittens for $10 that had already been fixed, microchipped, de-wormed and had shots. I didn’t even ask Ben because I figured that his automatic answer would be NO! So when HE brought it up to ME I did a little happy dance and was like YES LETS GO ADOPT CUTE!

We picked out Samus Aran (Sammy for short) after visiting with two others because as soon as she was handed off to Ben she started purring so loud I could hear it five feet away. She was sweet and calm and just ADORABLE.

After two days of diligent patience, Kumo finally came around! The first day I wasn’t sure that he was going to be able to get over the fear because when we got the two of them close to each other, even though either he or she was in a crate with a door between them, he would lay on the floor and SHAKE. It broke my heart.

But then something just… changed. I’m not sure what it was but I went to get her out of her crate and he ran up to me, sniffed her nose to nose and they have been playing beautifully ever since! And actually, she PREFERS to play with Danica because Danica is more rough with her while Kumo follows the two of them around and kind of fathers her! He is always going to check on her and see where she is and regulating Danica when she’s getting a little to rough with her.

This afternoon they played for FOUR STRAIGHT HOURS when I got home from work. It’s exhausting just WATCHING them but it absolutely makes my heart melt.

Cassidy fell asleep on the couch last night at 8:30PM. This is really odd for her because usually on Saturday nights she’s not even in bed till 11:00PM. She had been complaining about not feeling well all afternoon and then this morning woke up pretty stuffed up and not feeling well.

This afternoon she was sitting on the couch and I noticed her cheeks were pretty pink.

Me: Your cheeks are pretty pink, do you feel warm?
Cassidy: *shrug*
Me: You might have a fever, we should take your temperature.
Ben: You know, the best way to find out if you are sick or not is to rub peanut butter all over your face and let the dogs lick it off.
Me: …
Cassidy: OKAY!
Me: …
Ben: WOOHOO!
Me: …
Kumo: I HEARD PEANUT BUTTER THERE IS GOING TO BE PEANUT BUTTER WHERE IS THE PEANUT BUTTER I LIKE TO EAT PEANUT BUTTER!
Danica: WOOHOO I DON’T KNOW WHY WE ARE SO EXCITED BUT I’M GOING TO BE EXCITED TOO BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS EXCITED AND I LOVE MY BROTHER SO MUCH IN ALL CAPS!
Me: …

According to Dr. Benjamin Hirsch if you laugh when a dog licks peanut butter off of your face, you can’t be sick. It’s all very scientific.

Cassidy is not sick.

So.

If you read blogs or have twitter or facebook or any account anywhere online I’m sure you’ve seen the cast of Glee half naked in GQ today.

I couldn’t quite place my finger on what was wrong when I woke up today but I realized when I opened up Google Reader that it was the wrath of a million angry mommybloggers collectively sighing that was sucking the air out of THE ENTIRE WORLD!

There is OUTRAGE! There is DISGUST! There are groups out there comparing it to PEDOPHILIA!

And I’m sorry but ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?

Parent’s TV writes:

“It is disturbing that GQ, which is explicitly written for adult men, is sexualizing the actresses who play high school-aged characters on ‘Glee’ in this way. It borders on pedophilia. Sadly, this is just the latest example of the overt sexualization of young girls in entertainment,” said PTC President Tim Winter. (source)

Lea Michele and Dianna Agron are both 24 years old! Posing in GQ magazine! This isn’t Teen Beat, it’s not even 17 magazine, it is GQ.

GQ: Gentlemans’ Quarterly Magazine

Equating 24 year old women to pedophilia is about as lame as this “wholesome” label I’ve seen applied to Glee on blog after blog today.

WHOLESOME!? REALLY!? DO YOU PEOPLE WATCH THIS SHOW!?

In season one, the head cheerleader (and president of the celibacy club) got pregnant by her boyfriend’s best friend but lied to her boyfriend and told him that his sperm had swam from his penis into her vagina when he had pre-ejaculated in the hot tub. You see, that time he wasn’t able to stop “arriving early” by thinking about his mom while getting a hang job as he had in previous “sessions” which were all brilliantly played out via flashbacks and in thought bubbles.

Also, a teacher is trying to talk himself out of kissing another teacher. Oh, and he’s married. And is wife is pregnant. Except she’s not really pregnant, she’s faking and trying to convince the cheerleader to give her the baby of her boyfriend’s best friend so that her husband doesn’t find out.

The two great themes in American TV.

1) Teenagers are oversexed dumbasses.
2) Marriage is a joke.

THIS is the wholesome show that you are SO SURPRISED allowed pictures like these to be taken.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?

All these parents say how much they love the show but now aren’t going to watch anymore because of these pictures. Not the pre-ejaculating teenager! Nope! That was totally okay but these pictures? Not so much!

Here’s an idea: Stop blaming TV shows and magazines for your children’s faults. YOU are the parents. Not the TV shows. Not the magazines. YOU. Communicate with them what is okay and what isn’t. They are much better at understanding and rationalizing this stuff than a lot of you are giving them credit for.

According to most of the tweets, facebook and blog posts I’ve read today, they are also much better at rationalizing it than a lot of PARENTS are.

When I Rule the World: Any contractor that uses white grout on kitchen counters in the construction of new homes will have a punishment inflicted equal to the pain in the ass it is to keep said grout clean.

Something like a nail gun to the testicle.

You can see all my rules here.

My kingdom is going to totally rock.

Ben’s dad came to visit this weekend and like every single guest that we have at the house, Kumo instantly thinks that we’ve brought home this new person to be his BEST FRIEND FOREVER AND EVER! It happened with my dad, and then with Julie and Chris and then every single time my little brother comes to spend a few days with us.

He really seems to prefer men and I almost feel bad because when we have one that visits Kumo will follow them around and give them THE FACE. The face that makes you believe that there must be a Santa Clause and that double rainbows REALLY ARE THAT COOL and will make you stop doing whatever you are doing to throw the ball.

It’s this face:

Then, just like every time we have visitors, when his dad left this afternoon Kumo stood at the door wondering when his new BEST FRIEND FOREVER was going to come back. How about now? What about now? Now?

Maybe if I just go lay on my pet beds and look sad enough he’ll come back. Maybe if I play really cute with one of my pet toys they’ll feel sorry for me and get me a new friend.

Danica is at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. After the initial 10 seconds of excitement from a new person being in the house she picks one of the pet carriers and hibernates for the rest of the visit because unless they are carrying bacon in their pockets she’s really not very interested.

She maintains Indifferent Face:

And thus concludes the gratuitous shots of our adorable puppy faces.

I do Friday 5 on Sunday. Because that’s the way I roll.

1. Do you still have your senior yearbook? Where is it?
I do! It was the only year I went to public school after getting kicked out of private Catholic school my junior year. I have ALL my yearbooks except the one from that junior year. I paid for it but never went back to pick it up and I really wish I had.

2. What souvenir did you bring back from your last trip?
Our last trip was to Bakersfield and I didn’t buy anything. The last “real” trip I took was to Pennsylvania late last year and I brought back a fridge magnet from the Duquesne Incline. Our fridge is covered in magnets from places we’ve been. From local places like the Aquarium to far away places like Maui and the San Diego Zoo.

3. What visible signs are there of your most recent injury?
My most recent injury was an infection in my colon. Any “signs” would have been flushed away…

4. What’s the neatest wedding favor you’ve ever seen?
I’m actually fan of the bubbles. Most wedding favors are silly and just end up getting tossed. Sorry, but it’s true.

5. What do you do with playbills and movie-ticket stubs?
I used to keep them in a box but recently I’ve been purging stuff like that from my life. It’s just too much STUFF to hold on to.