So we recieved a ‘Verbal’ acceptance on the house. That means we got it but I’m not going to bank or count on anythng till we have some papers in hand to sign from the bank. We also recieved the Section 1 inspection that the bank had done not long ago and there were some possible troublesome items that will have to be looked into farther on Wednesday when we have our own inspection.

I just wanted to let you all know what was going on on THAT front. So far so good, and when I know more, I’ll let you know too!

But that’s not what I sat down to write about.

Ben and I are SO HAPPY about this house. And even if we don’t get THIS HOUSE and it ends up being another one, we’ll still be SO HAPPY because eventually we WILL find The One. And it WILL probably be in Morgan Hill or Gilroy. And goddamnit I wish people would stop making this ALL ABOUT THAT LAST POINT.

Of the 40 people I’ve told about ths house, 32 of them responded with:

- Wow, that’s so far.
- That’s a LONG drive.
- Gilroy is so far away.
- Man, you’re going to get tired of that drive.

And seriously people, JUST STOP. When a woman tells you she’s pregnant you don’t respond with “OMG you’re going to get FAT!”. If you did she’d probably smack you upside the head. I don’t know why some of you think that it’s okay to respond to such life changing event, like buying your first home, in such a negative way. PLEASE DON’T DIRECT YOUR NEGATIVITY AT ME.

The thing I don’t get is that a lot, if not all of these people know how Ben and I met. How he used to drive 1000 miles a WEEK to see me. How he’d leave work at 3:00PM on a Wednesday, drive 240 miles to eat dinner with me, sleep, then wake up at 4:00AM to drive 240 miles back home to work. Then he’d be back again on Friday night and gone again Monday morning. 1000 miles a WEEK. To see me. You think he’s going to let a 20 mile commute keep him from something he loves? Something he want’s so badly? If you do, you really don’t know either of us as well as you think.

My dad and Cherie have been SO helpful in this process. Seriously, we would not be where we are now in this process without their constant guidance, support, and 10 billion emails and phone calls back and forth. He’s voiced his opinion about my commute, but also been SO POSITIVE and suportive and encouraging. THAT is what I want. I want people to, of course, DISCUSS the issues with me but STOP making it all about how sorry I’m going to be when I have to drive to work every day. For the record, as soon as the inspections are passed and we are a positive go on the house, I’m going to seriously start looking for jobs in either that area or southern San Jose.

Yes, we are going into this whole home buying thing blind, but we aren’t complete fools. We have REALLY thought out the pros and cons of moving farther south then we already are. We have spent many long discussions hammering out these details and thinking this stuff through and please, JUST BE HAPPY FOR US.

PS - This is not directed to any of my online girls, you all rock hardcore and have been so supportive. This is people in real life that have been, in general, not very thoughtful when reacting to the news.

*Title quote: Thich Nhat Hanh

So, I had this great idea for a blog post to announce our most recent BIG NEWS. Don’t you love the BIG NEWS?! I was going to formulate a list of houses with similar attributes and post about them one at a time starting in San Francisco, and working South from there. Menlo Park, Palo Alto, Santa Clara, San Jose, Morgan Hill then Gilroy. It was going to be pretty cool because it was going to show you how moving 20 miles south is saving us around $600,000 on the house we just made an offer on.

It’s THE HOUSE. Ben and I both loved it and I seriously figured we’d have to look at 179 houses over a year period to find a house we both loved because we can have such differing taste when it comes to this kind of stuff. We found it much sooner though, it was around house 17. It’s actually the second house that we put an offer on but I don’t really want to go into the FIRST house because it was stressful and FAST and all could have been made much better if the lending company hadn’t put a wrong loan amount on our offer letter. I mean, being a little off is one thing but they sent a letter showing that we had $300,000 LESS FUNDING than we actually do. It was just a big mess. BIG MESS!

Anyway, we put an offer on this house and I have my fingers crossed and this post is really just to ask you to do the same because I REALLY WANT THIS ONE. Alot, alot.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll post the expense progression post. Every time I look at homes around here I’m reminded what a cool deal we’re getting (assuming we get it) and how much I’m looking forward to our family moving into this new home and seeing where this new adventure will lead us.

*crosses fingers*

I’m back I think. I needed some blog decompress/think/brainstorm time.

A long time ago I was able to speak freely and openly here. I wrote in great depth about depression, how hard it is to be a single parent, funny little stories, EVERYTHING. Over the last two or so years I’ve had to start seriously censoring myself and remain “politically correct”. This wasn’t because I wanted to say things that shouldn’t be said, it was because I was surrounded by people that were drama hungry and couldn’t face the truth if it walked up spun them around and slapped them in the face with a wet trout.

I am NOT perfect, I am FAR from perfect. My life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies and cute little stories and happy, happy, joy, joy and, frankly, I’m fucking sick and tired of having to NOT POST the “bad” because people have nothing better to do then email me to start bullshit drama, follow me on twitter, flickr, blogs, message boards, WHEREVER THE FUCK ELSE, just hoping I’ll “slip up” and say something they can attack me for. I’m tired of taking the time to write out my feelings and thoughts and then not hitting the submit button because people are going to be all OMG SHE’S BLOGGED AGAIN AND YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAID!!!

You can attack me all you want. Whatever. I’m really not going to deal with it. If you email me, it will be deleted and forgotten (unless it’s particularly funny in which case I’ll post it here so everybody else can laugh at how pathetic you are along with me), if you DM me on twitter I’ll unadd you, if you PM me on a forum, I’ll block you, if you message me, I’ll block you.

But understand this: aflux is my blog, my writing, my thoughts, my “domain”. If I want to mention how lame you look to obsess over girls online, I will. If I want to write in depth about how I’ve been struggling with depression, I will. If I want to rant about motherhood, I will. If I want to write about how Ben and I stayed up all night fighting, I will. If I want to write about how lame you look when you post a picture on flickr flipping me off, I will.

So, I’m not saying that my blog is going to turn into a fountain of negativity, but it will be a River of Truthiness. Finally, it will once again be what I’m REALLY thinking, how I REALLY feel, what’s REALLY going on in my life. Hopefully those of you that know and love me will see this as a good thing and I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you all and welcome the conversations we’ve had.

But those of you who DON’T think you can handle me being ME, or that I might just not agree with you, or I JUST MIGHT mention what an asstard you’re being or have been in the past, then I’d say your best bet would be to back up and walk away at a quick pace so as not to allow the long reach of my foot to make contact your ass on the way.

*deep breath*

Yep, I’m back.

*Title quote: Mark Twain.

I need a bit of a break. And I hate to do the whole dramatic OMG HIATUS thing but I just need to step away from the blogisphere for a bit. No, this isn’t permanent. It might be a week or a month or longer, I’m not really sure at this point… But I will be back eventually.

I just don’t feel like I can share every part of me right now and it feels kinda like a lie to try and post superficial nonsense when I want to say a lot more. Unfortunately my blog has become more public than I’m comfortable with. While I know there are a LOT of you out there that support me without judgment, there are those that would use my words and feelings against me and I’m just not up for it right now.

I don’t know how active I’ll be on twitter or message boards. Right now I’d say little to none but I’m honestly just not sure. I know that I’ll probably stay active on flickr but I’m this close *holds fingers an inch apart* to making it primarily friends and family only.

So um yeah. I love you all and I’ll miss you all and in my absence, go visit all those awesome girls in my sidebar.

Later, Interwebz.

This post is pretty much going to consist of me being a whiny bitch and all poor me and FEEL SYMPATHY AND PAT MY HEAD AND TELL ME EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.

Okay?

Good!

So work has been HELL. Like, actual flames and pitchforks and varying rings of suckage. Based on the people surrounding me I’d say I’m somewhere below the water in the 5th ring surrounded by a bunch of sloths… which is the nicest way I can find to say it short of yelling, “I’m surrounded by MORONS.” Which wouldn’t be very nice. Tempting, but not nice.

I’d go into more here but the LAST thing I need to add to the stress is to walk into work and find out I’ve been dooced so I’ll just say that I’m doing the work of 1.5 people, literally, and leave it at that. Like, my productivity last week was 167%. Individually. For the week. Hell.

Lets see, what else?

Last week we had our first 100 degree day here and SURPRISE! Our AC was dead. We woke up to a power surge a few weeks ago which fried the control panel in the oven (I was reminded we are still waiting on the part today when I went to turn on the over and NOTHING HAPPENED and I ended up ruining my potatoes trying to cook them on the grill) and we never thought to try the AC! We went through two agonizing, horrible days with no AC. I had actual sweat. Like, ON MY BODY. *shudder*

The guy came out to fix it Saturday and apparently the power runs from the breaker, to the furnace, to the AC. So it was actually the HEATER that was broken and it wasn’t allowing the AC to come on. Makes perfect sense to me! Actually it doesn’t but I pretended that it did when Ben explained it to me.

So YAY! We have AC!!! Except we’ve only had to run it for like, AN HOUR over the last few days, because as soon as the damn thing was fixed the temperature dropped and it was BEAUTIFUL outside.

Oh! Something good!

Really good actually!

Ready?!

We finally got to use our tickets for Beauty and the Beast! The tickets Cassidy’s Papa and Nana Cherie got her for Christmas. It was AWESOME. It’s so cute when Cassidy watches something like this and gets REALLY into it because she’ll start to mimic the movements of the people on stage. Generally, the LEAD girl. She did it during the Hannah Montana movie, and then this too. It’s like she wants to burn it all to memory and the best way to do that is to.. DO IT.

I never say anything to her or tell her to stop because if she’s THAT into something, I can’t help but get just as into from watching her. It’s awesome that stuff like that is still so magical to her because getting to see it through her eyes gives me a reason to be 9 all over again and in awe of Belle and the story.

So okay, it wasn’t ALL bad. Still, if you want to pat my head and tell me it’s okay I won’t discourage you. I might even offer you a glass of wine and a seat beside me on the couch to watch House. Only one though! Don’t be greedy!