Watching Carrielee and Cassidy together is magical. They love eachother SO MUCH. Cassidy looks up to her like she is a big sister. She wants to do everything Carrielee does. She want’s to talk like Carrielee talks. She wants to dress like Carrielee dresses. And Carrielee loves it. She’s like, ‘YES! Wear my pants, and my shoes, and let me do your hair, and I’ll put some blush on your cheeks, and hold my hand while we skip off into the perfect pink sunset!’

They were inseparable the entire weekend. When we got home from another fantastic Reid Family Dinner they sat on the couch and tickled eachother and told silly jokes with absolutely no meaning and farted (Reid Family Dinners will do that to ya! ;)) and laughed so hard they could hardly breathe. And that made me laugh so hard I could hardly breathe. So finally I told them, “OKay, it’s late, calm down!” So they stopped laughing for 2 seconds and fell instantly asleep. They do that. They wake up as soon as their little bodies are capable of movement and GO! FULL SPEED! FULL OF LAUGHTER!! till their little bodies can’t process anymore and they pass out, HARD, so that they can wake up as soon as possible to do it all over again.

They do this till I say it’s time to go and they both just fall apart. Cassidy did really well this time. Didn’t cry at all till we got home and it was time to go to bed and when I walked in her room she has gigantic tears welling down her face.

Me: What’s wrong, Baby?

I ask this even though I know the answer because I want her to talk about it.

Cassidy: I miss Carrielee.
Me: I know, Honey. Come here.

*hugs*

Me: I think it’s so awesome that you have a best friend that you love so much. That’s very special.
Cassidy: But it hurts my heart.

*heart shatters on the floor on a bazillion pieces*

I promised her that tomorrow (today [now TWO days ago because I suck and have sat on this post for three days]) we will call Carrielee and print out some of the pictures from the weekend to send to them. And I’m sure that once she’s back in the school routine and playing with her girlfriends that the hurt in her heart will lessen. I just think it’s so cool that she has such a powerful bond with somebody. And it’s even cooler that the somebody is named after me (she got her middle name from me) and who I got to watch be BORN and helped raise for the first few years of her life.

So maybe it’s something the four of us share. Amber, Me, Cassidy and Carrielee. I don’t think anybody will ever really understand us because even Amber and I are very different people, but there’s a connection I have with her and even though we don’t get to see eachother more than a handful of times a year, it’s just THERE. We went through A LOT together. We were eachother’s rock through times and through things that don’t ever leave you. At the core of it all, I think that knowing, loving, then losing Ada has bonded us in a way that can’t ever be broken. Her death is something I rarely talk about, even with Ben. It’s still a really painful memory. I should so that someday, though. I should write it all out before it becomes any more cloudy than it already is.

But, that’s for another day! The weekend was awesome and it was SO GOOD to get to see everybody again. Once I have pictures uploaded, I’ll make get a post up with all the fun stuff.

I have to start posting more for my dad who pointed out my lack of updates this weekend

I’m heading to Bakerfield for the weekend in a few hours. My cousin Sarah is getting married and her sister is throwing her a bridal shower. I’m excited to see all of my family. YAY!

Have a nice weekend everybody!

And important P.S. - I was not aware that today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. I wish I had more time to write but I just don’t right now. I will when I get home from the trip. In the meantime, go on over to Jennifer’s site to read more and show her love.

I’ve really been having a blast with the new macro lens. I’ve been wandering around outside after work (because it’s been SO. NICE. OUT.) and taking pictures of whatever captures my eye. It’s amazing what you don’t see when you look at something every day. When it’s magnified and blown up and almost 4000 pixels wide suddenly you see things you’ve never noticed before. Like how alive grape vines can look. Like they aren’t really wondering around looking for things to grasp, they know what they are doing and it’s all part of some calculated plan. I’m on to you, grapevines. OH YEAH! You heard me!

I joined Reese’s photography project. Partly because, MORE PICTURE TAKING YAY! And partly because she’s been Explore’d FIVE TIMES and I’m hoping some of her brilliant capture skillz rub off on me. I might be a little jealous. Or a lot. But, whatever.

If you are a girl and a photographer, either the casual picture taker or somebody hoping to be something great someday, you should get on over there and check it out. It’s a great group of girls and a fun project at the same time.

Lately I’ve been really, really, really, really bad about wheat consumption. Times four. I know that I can have it in small quantities. Very small quantities. So I’ll be like, “It’s okay to have this sandwich because I can take the top piece of bread off and that’s half the bread and I’ll be okay!” Then for dinner I’ll be all, “I only had that half a piece of bread so I’ll be okay to have a piece of pizza or two tonight.” Then I’m awake all night with horrible stomach cramps and the next say I’m SO TIRED and a little itchy… and this sandwich today only has that one slice of bread so I’ll be okay!

It’s a downward spiral and then one day I wake up and I can’t hardly stand to MOVE because I feel SO lethargic and my stomach has this constant dull pain and I have splotches of skin gross-ness popping up and MY GOD it ITCHES and my head hurts and I’m so bloated I can hardly button my pants and suddenly I’m running for the bathroom because my body is about to release an atomic bomb of PISSED.

Sorry for that! But you get where I was Monday morning. I seriously was at the point where I wanted to just take a knife and cut the dull pain out. Except, sharp pain probably sucks too. So instead of taking such drastic measures I decided it’s just time to stop eating wheat again. ALL WHEAT. No, have a little here and there. None. Cold turkey. FINITO!

And mother fucker it sucks balls.

So for the last two days I’ve been eating a lot of fruit and veggies and turkey and you’d think I was on some kind of stupid diet. Major Medical University had cake brought in for a whatever Celebration Of The Day it is today and no less than 7 girls asked me if I wanted cake and I got REALLY TIRED of having do say no. And then the exact same conversation:

Coworker: Are you on a diet?!
Me: No, I can’t have wheat.
Coworker: Oh! Atkins!
Me: No, I’m not on a diet. I just can’t eat wheat.
Coworker: Oh so, South Beach Plan?
Me: I’m ALLERGIC to wheat, I can’t eat it.
Coworker: I’ve seen you eat it before.
Me: *blink* *blink* Yes, I’m on a diet.

Yes, I’ve eaten cake before! And then I’ve spent the rest of the afternoon running for the bathroom and camping out in there for 20 minutes at a time. And then?! Then I go home and lay on the couch and moan and groan about how bad my stomach hurts and my head is pounding and when Ben asks me, “What did you have to eat today?” I have to fight the urge to impale the remote control into his head for being right again. I even told him I thought the doctor was a quack and didn’t know what he was talking about. This isn’t caused by wheat! I’ve been eating wheat all my life! I thought if I said it enough or somehow managed to convince Ben that maybe it would be true. But he just looked at me like, “Yep. Still crazy.”

But it is wheat. I feel better today than I’ve felt in the last month and it’s not generally the time of month I feel great. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* My stomach, after two days, almost feels normal. Almost. My head is hurting a little but I think that’s because everything is blooming right now and a little bit of sinus trauma is expected. It’s certainly not as bad as it was Sunday after having Eggs Alexandria. And toast. And flour dredged potato goodness. All at one meal… I’m so weak. And I paid for it by feeling like DEATH while we shopped.

I’m so weak and I REALLY have to fight things like chocolate cake covered in sugery goodness…

Me: Hi. Where are you?
Ben: Sil and I came to Mongolian BBQ.
Me: Awww man! I LOVE Mongolian BBQ!
Ben: Come have Mongolian BBQ with us!
Me: I can’t HAVE Mongolian BBQ! I called you to be whiny and complain that I can’t have cake and you are having Mongolian BBQ and now I don’t feel any better AT ALL.
Ben: Okay!
Me: Well, I guess I COULD have it, I’d just have to not put noodles in my bowl.
Ben: That would be great because you could get all the good stuff! Meat and veggies and…
Me: And egg flower soup! I love egg flower soup.
Ben: Yeah! See?
Me: Except I couldn’t have egg rolls.
Ben: No. But you COULD HAVE all the other stuff.
Me: Yeah, well I’ll let you go so you can eat the good stuff that I can’t have that’s good stuff.
Ben: Okay love you bye!
Me: Love you bye!

I hate you wheat. Hate you. (Not really I love you, please love me back?)

Yesterday Ben said we should go look at bedroom furniture. OKAY LETS GO RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T NEED SHOES!! LETS JUST GO! This man does NOT like to shop. At all. I think I got him into IKEA once and he had hives for the next four days. As a matter of fact, he might STILL have them! I’m kidding of course, but he might as well have because he’s flat out refused to go back since then. So when he said that it was like he wanted to fulfill some dirty fantasy and, really, who was I to not let him do that for me?

We went to Levitz first and the reason that we have only gone furniture shopping once before came back to me. We have TOTALLY different taste. I am all modern and clean lines and BLACK and light metal. “Industrial” is the word I’d used. Ben is very into light wood, soft lines… like contemporary class. I’m not really sure how to describe it and when I asked him he was no help. (HA! *winks at Ben*) So we really didn’t agree on anything there. But it wasn’t so much that we didn’t agree, but neither one of us saw something that really blew us away. Ben suggested going to Ethan Allen.

ETHAN ALLEN! I almost died. Not only is Ethan Allen at the MALL(!!) and he WANTED to go, but it’s ETHAN ALLEN. I can’t tell you how many years I’ve thumbed through the pages of Ethan Allen and in my head decorated my ENTIRE HOUSE in the furniture than hermetically sealed it so that nobody could ever touch its perfect perfectness. It’s like, just perfect.

It’s so perfect in fact, that we walked in and in less than 10 minutes we found a set that we BOTH LIKED. And not just a little. Or, one of us gave in because we could live with it. We both REALLY liked the set. And it was funny because it was separated into two different rooms, one upstairs and one downstairs, and we liked BOTH of them without realizing they all matched! It was like our entire relationship was confirmed to me in the middle of Ethan Allen. Ben and I are really meant together because we actually LIKE the same furniture. TWICE. At different altitudes.

So we bought it. And it’s going to take 5-8 weeks to get here. And I’m not sure I’ve told you all this before (yes I have, about 10,000 times) that I am NOT a patient person. I want it NOW! Right NOW. I’m going to try and not dwell on it but it’s kinda hard to not focus on the fact that PERFECT will be upstairs in my bedroom soon and I’ll be sleeping on it and putting all my clothes in it and it will BE SO PERFECT.

Tonight we went and bought a new matress. We have a queen now and the bed we got is a California King to better suit Ben’s being taller than the house. And it is soft and wonderful and like laying on a cloud. And it will be so big that Ben and I will have our own zip codes. Which I had to kinda laugh at because us at night? Like this *crosses fingers*.

So we have the bed, two night stands, a chest (for me), and a double dresser for Ben from the New Impressions line. (EA.com uses frames *shudder* so you just have to search the site for it).

And then we sat down tonight and realized that holy crap, we just spent the entire cost of a wedding on furniture and the word “elope” was used. And actually, I was way more into the idea than I would have thought I’d have been. But that’s a whole other post entirely…