Yes, perhaps. Random jumping from topic to topic to follow. Please try to keep up.

Had appointment #2 with counselor #5 last Friday. I made a third appointment!! That’s farther than I’ve gotten with the rest. When I leave her office I feel lighter and more… me? The first appointment she told me to take off my shoes and get comfortable. I think better with my shoes off. That’s why I wear sandals 99% of the time. It’s a crazy thing so stop trying to understand it!!

Anyway, I’m going to try out some St. Johns Wart. She had a big fancy name for the depression that I have that I don’t remember. Basically, it’s like a hit or miss kinda thing. I have days that I’m fine. Functioning, happy, energetic, pain in the ass, etc. Then I have days where I want to crawl in bed, pull up he covers and disappear and these days NORMALLY happen during PMS. It’s the monthly Dark Period. If this doesn’t help by the next period I’m going to look into Sarafem. Having a uterus is SO overrated.

Also, there are a few whole bunch of issues from the Dark Marriage Days that I’ve never dealt with and need to so she wants me to talk. Talk, talk, talk, talk. (I know, TOTAL streath for me. HAR!) Get it out. Heal. Stop unloading it elsewhere in my life. Let go. MOVE. ON.

Next topic:

Ben wins the prize for “Most random Aflux comment” from his FIRST post to the blog. It said something about Muslims dragging people down and finished with The Serenity prayer. You know “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, etc.” Those of you who know my religious beliefs are getting the humor in this.

He deleted it. I’m sure that if we weren’t bound for hell before, we’ve just bought a one way ticket. But we can’t have the right wing folk spreading The Word here!! I have a *RWLMFPâ„¢ reputation to uphold!!

Topic switch again:

We have a cubicle decorating contest at work for Halloween and Christmas. I started out thinking this is fun then I remembered the 300 catty women. Halloween is Monday. It’s a good thing because the you’d not believe the drama sparked by pumpkins and spider webs… and orange pants.

Last one for now:

I really can’t wait for Halloween to be over. This layout has gotten ‘blah’. I’m thinking something more He Said/She Said-ish to get The Benjamin to post more. POST MAN, POST!

*Right Wing Liberal Media Fed Poserâ„¢

P.S. - Points and laughs at Bush.

I feel much better now that I have that out of my system.

The second day we lived here I decided to take a break from unpacking to avoid the drama of speaking in tongues and Ben having to commit me. Yes, it was that bad. I sat on the back patio on the lounge chair and listened to the sounds of our new neighborhood. A mower off in the distance, kids riding bikes down the street, the cars on Blossom Hill, Cameron farting. It was nice. Well, most of it was nice.

KC was exploring the yard. Sniffing everything, tasting the grass and acting generally skiddish at every noise she heard. She’s never been an outside cat. I was watching her when she suddenly became very still and her eyes got as big as milk saucers the way they do when she hears a can of tune opening. I looked up and there was a humming bird hovering about 25 feet from us. I sat very still and watched in awe as it sat there, mid air, perfectly still except the wings flapping so fast you couldn’t see them… then it flew about four feet from my face. It felt like it was so close that I could reach out and touch it but I stayed still. Then it flew the six feet over to KC and got about four feet from her and hovered there for a second. KC didn’t move a muscle.

When the bird was done scoping us out it flew over to my hibiscus plant and sucked all of the flowers dry. Then, after taking one last look at us, flew away… and KC went nuts. I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a declawed cat try to climb a fence but it’s quite a sight. A sad but funny moment. Like watching a stranger walk face first into a wall. I ran in the house and told Ben that we absolutely HAD to get a hummingbird feeder RIGHT NOW SO THE BIRD DOESN’T STARVE!

The next weekend Cameron and I were at Target picking up some stuff for the house and we looked at the feeders. They had some really nice ones. Beautiful actually. Like the Tara of Hummingbird feeders. (Shame on you all if you don’t know what Tara is.) I picked one out I really liked and put it in the cart and started to try and find the hummingbird food. There was none. We must have walked up and down the isle’s 5 times and there was no food there. Only feeders. This upset me. Being the rational person I am, I put the $15.00 hummingbird feeder back on the shelf amidst a rant about how stupid the Target corporation is and how COULD THEY sell feeders but no food and I wasn’t about to contribute to the stupidity… looking back now I think I might have been premenstrual.

A few days later I bought a $5.00 feeder at Safeway and told two employees how nice it was that they had FOOD to go with their feeders. I love Safeway.

The first few weeks the food went slowly but steadily. We saw hummingbirds out there every day feeding and hovering and checking things out. It was cool. Cassidy and I would sit out there after homework and watch them.

This week I haven’t seen a single one. I didn’t think this was odd because I think they migrate and figured that now that it’s getting cooler that maybe they had left for the season. But the food level was getting lower. It was going surprisingly fast actually but I didn’t really give it a lot of thought till today when I saw a bird fly up, check out the feeder and fly away without drinking any nectar. I went outside to check out the feeder and see what was going on and… It’s got ants. Lots and lots and lots of ants.

I remember reading on the Target feeders box that it was “ant proof”. I should have gotten the damn Target feeder. Stubbornness has a way of always biting my ass. Not in the good way I like but the bad way that Ben likes to point out and laugh at.

Stupid ants. I watched them for a bit wondering how exactly ANTS were drinking more than the birds did the first week. I don’t think they are drinking it. If you click the picture above you can see that the ant coming out of the feeder flower on the left is almost transparent because it’s full of nectar. It’s FILLED it’s back half with the liquid. I think they must be transporting it because all the ants coming to the feeder are small and black and all the ants leaving the feeder are fat and clear.

STUPID ANTS. They should know better than to mess with a crazy and premenstrual woman. This, my friends, is war.

This picture was not all that great to start out with but a few layers, some blurring, property manipulation, add a bit of rosiness to the cheeks and maybe a little pink to the lips… Photoshop is wonderful. I mean, if you can make a really bad makeup day look like this then ANYTHING is possible. It kinda ruins looking at a magazine because when you start to learn the tricks and tools you realize that probably nothing really is that beautiful…

Me: Hurry up and change clothes so you can get your homework done.
Cassidy: But mom I’m STTTTAAAAAAAARRRRVING.
Me: Go figure.
Cassidy: Can I have chips?
Me: While you do homework?
Cassidy: Please?
Me: Okay, but I better not see ONE trace of cheese on your homework or ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE HOUSE.
Cassidy: Duh mom, I totally lick my fingers.

When the hell did she start talking like a 16 year old?!

(+10 bonus points for recognizing the food item in the title. There is a clue there. AND GOOGLE IS CHEATING!!!)

Last Friday I decided it was time to go back to blond. I was scared that I’d end up having orange hair or something but I went in and bought one step up from the lightest blond and… it came out okay. Hmmm, I guess July and October are the months I feel the need to dye my hair. Interesting.

Gotta love the $8.00 hair job. heh