aflux.net

I wasn’t talking about your anus.

Very shortly after I posted the blog last night we were in the kitchen:

Ben: Can we recycle these?
Me: I don’t think you can recycle light bulbs.
Ben: They’re just glass and metal.
Me: I’m pretty sure I looked it up before and you aren’t supposed to.
Ben: Is there some kind of dangerous gas in them or something?
Me: Yes, they are filled with deadly gas. It will kill you.
Ben: I wasn’t talking about your anus.
Me: …

Another conversation happened at breakfast but I can’t remember what it was. I do, however, remember threatening to start posting all of these little exchanges online for the world to harshly judge us. He just laughed and acted like he was okay with it.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, BEN.

Living with me is it’s own kind of fantastic torture.

Over breakfast this morning:

Ben: Will you help me wash my car today?
Me: *horrified face*
Ben: I just need you to wash the rims, I’ll do the rest.
Me: What’s it worth to you?
Ben: Selling my car.
Me: That benefits YOU, not ME!
Ben: It will be more money for you to buy things!
Me: …
Ben: What will it take?
Me: A good kiss at a time of my choosing.
Ben: Your choosing can not fall between the hours of midnight and 5:00AM.
Me: Deal.

What’s funny is as we got up from the table I said, “I want the kiss now” and he leaned in to kiss me! A GOOD KISS! In the middle of a busy restaurant! I laughed and walked away but after every kiss today I keep having to establish that that was not The Kiss.

Sometime this afternoon while at my computer:

Me: I’m going to go to Target to get a duvet cover now.
Ben: Okay.
Me: Do you care what I get?
Ben: No.
Me: What about this one?
Ben: No.
Me: What about this one?
Ben: *horrified face*
Me: What!?
Ben: Pick one you think we’d both like.
Me: But I don’t care what you like.
Ben: …

When I got back from Target, with no duvet cover:

Me: But look at these cute skirts I got! They were only $20 and buy one get one half off!
Ben: How much did you end up spending?
Me: Around $100.00?
Ben: *I can see him doing the math in his head* Uhhh…
Me: Well, I mean, I got other stuff too that we NEED. Like cat food!
Ben: What else did you get that we NEED?
Me: Candles?
Ben: How much did the stuff cost that we NEED?
Me: $100.00?
Ben: Honey!?
Me: This is exactly why women don’t tell their husbands what they buy when they shop.
Ben: …
Me: *quickly walks away*

While laying in bed discussing tomorrow’s plans:

Me: So. Tiling tomorrow?
Ben: Yep. Want to get up early?
Me: Define early.
Ben: You define it.
Me: Lets eat breakfast at 9:00 and then start tiling right after?
Ben: So, EATING at 9:00?
Me: Yes.
Ben: Okay. (He totally does not believe this is going to happen.)
Me: I just need you to wake me up at 8:30.
Ben: Set an alarm.
Me: NO! Alarms are so harsh and mean.
Ben: There is no way I could ever wake you up without you being a…
Me: NO! Just say “Good morning, you look so beautiful this morning. Time to get up and…”
Ben: HAHAHAHAHAAH NO.
Me: WHY DON’T YOU GO PLAY THAT STUPID GAME YOU DOWNLOADED!?
Ben: Aaaaaaand, switch flipped.

Living with me is it’s own kind of fantastic torture.

$92,927.91

I feel so much sadness for all the parents out there that don’t get child support when they REALLY need it. I am so lucky that even without Ben I’d be able to support Cassidy and that Ben taken up the responsibility of her deadbeat “father” to support her financially.

deadbeat

For the record, since her “father” doesn’t think it’s necessary to support her, he now owes me $92,927.81 in child support. The state of California has basically done nothing to make him pay. The last time I was able to get them to make him come to court he lied so much, and he’s so bad at it that I was easily able to point them all out WITH ACTUAL PROOF and all they did was… nothing.

I basically begged them for MONTHS to suspend his license and they never would. Eventually he got a arrested for drunk driving, didn’t go to court, then didn’t pay the fine, then didn’t go to the class he was supposed to go to so they gave him jail time. When he turned himself in for his mandatory time he tried to sneak meth into the jail (YAY FELONY!) so he got more time for that. Served 100 days and is still on probation. Then in July of last year he got pulled over again and arrested for possession of meth, meth paraphernalia and “driving while license suspended for driving while under the influence”. Of course, he didn’t go to that court date and is currently listed with as a “fugitive” on the San Bernadino Superior Court website.

I honestly look back 12 years ago and I don’t even know how that guy turned into this loser. A lot of time goes by without me ever even thinking about it and then I’ll see something that will bring up this feeling of absolute gut turning rage at the utter lack of caring that exists for Cassidy’s well being both emotionally and financially.

About 4 times in the last year I’ve had this nightmare where I am back together with him. In my mind I know that I’m there for Cassidy so I’m trying to “fake it till I make it” and then something in me snaps and I start to panic because he and his step-mom won’t let me leave. So I start screaming and fighting to get away. Twice now Ben has had to wake me up because I’m having an actual night terror. I know I’m asleep and that if I just wake up it will be over so I try and scream but I can’t get anything more than a squeak out. It’s actually really terrifying.

Anyway, I’m not exactly sure where I was going with all this but today was one of those days where it came up and rather than hold it all in like I normally do I wanted to just pound the keys to get it out of my system.

A lot of counseling has taught me that I am not responsible for his failures as a father and to look at how great a kid Cassidy is. She’s funny and makes me laugh every single day, she’s so much smarter than she realizes, she has an ever growing passion for music and fashion. She HAS a dad. An amazing one. One that didn’t just give up when things got hard. One that took the bumpy and unforgiving path to better himself along with the rest of us to get to where we are today. She is so lucky. We are so lucky.

OMG MOOOOOOOM. SERIOUSLY!

Today I could hear a pretty steady thumping coming from upstairs so I ventured up to see what it was. I listened in as Cassidy was dancing in her bathroom to some music.

Me: Hey, whatcha doin’ in there?

She threw open the door and this happened:

Cassidy: I’M DANCING I HAVE TO PRACTICE FOR COLORGUARD OMG MOOOOOOOM. SERIOUSLY!

She threw that last word in there as she ran into her room and slammed the door closed. The high pitched squeeling continued as I fought her to get her door open. By this time I had made it into a joke.

Me: OMG CAAAAASSSIDY LET ME SEE YOUR AWESOME DANCE MOVES THAT YOU WERE PRACTICING.

Cassidy: MOM SERIOUSLY GO AWAY.

Me: I CAN’T GO AWAY I NEEEEEED TO SEE YOU DAAAAAAAANCE.

Cassidy: OMG I HATE YOU SERIOUSLY!

Me: So I guess you DON’T need to go to the grocery store today then?

At which point I was suddenly able to open her door and proceed to tease her to her face. Sometimes parenting a teenager is a lot of fun.

Proving that, in fact, two blondes do not make a right.

We are redoing the flooring throughout the bottom of the house. You all know that because you follow me on social media and you are probably all, “Shut up about the flooring already, SHEESH!” So instead we will discuss a funny related story.

We are going to need approximately 498,000 boxes of tiles to do the entire floor and I can get exactly 9 boxes at a time in the Prius before it starts to rub so it’s going to take a few trips to get as many as we need. Last Monday Cassidy and I went to Lowes to get the first 9 boxes and as we got out of the car I realized that my purse seemed really light and that I had forgotten my wallet! Because Blonde.

So we drive back home and I wait in the car while Cassidy runs in to grab my wallet out of my work bag. She was in there FOREVER and came out and held up her hands and shrugged because she couldn’t find what she was looking for. I told her I must have left my wallet at work and I couldn’t believe that because I NEVER do that and she was all, “OH WALLET! I was looking for the keys HAHAHAHAHAAHH!”

Proving that, in fact, two blondes do not make a right.

We decided not to go back to Lowes that day and instead took a nap.