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Split Finances: The Why

Ben is a planner. He likes to plan and make spreadsheets and know what’s happening before it happens.

I am not. I’m more of a fly by the seat of my pants person. I don’t necessarily care what’s happening next and if I have to think about it too much I start to worry about it and try to assess all the worst case scenarios that might pop up and then I shut down and end up eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s in the closet at 1:00AM.

These two different styles of thought apply to MANY things. Finances, for instance! So for the longest time Ben had been in charge of our finances. I kept a general eye on the bank account and I had general ideas how much we paid for things but I had no idea when they were due or how much he might have budgeted for any of it. Because of this we had an agreement in place that if either of us was going to spend over $X.XX we’d talk to the other person first. Ben was REALLY good about this. I was NOT. Again, I’m a fly by the seat of my pants person, remember!

The last straw came when I was Kirklands about six months ago and ALL THE THINGS were on sale so I ended up spending about $180 on stuff for the house. I had FULLY INTENDED on telling Ben about it that night but then, you know, life. So he was rightfully pretty upset when he saw it.

After we talked more calmly about it we both realized that it might be better for us to split finances.* We both have different passions. For Ben, it’s his M3, for me, it’s makeup and planners and making the house cute and etc. It was really hard to budget because we were both trying to push for our different wants AFTER our needs were met. I REALLY want Ben to be able to peruse his passion. I love seeing him get enjoyment out of something he loves so much. And I know that Ben wanted the same for me and this really was the best way for us to BOTH get what we wanted. He doesn’t have to explain where the money came from for all the car parts that are currently living in our workout room and I don’t have to explain to him why I NEEDED to buy the entire aisle of clear storage at the Container Store to organize my Washi tape by color and size.

So, that’s the WHY. Next time I’ll get into the How we make it work for both of us.

*This is a huge glossing over of what happened. Ben suggested it. I was like THAT IS TOTALLY NOT FAIR YOU MAKE DOUBLE WHAT I DO FUCK YOU AND YOUR HUGE INCOME! It took me a few days to realize I was being DUMB. I spent a lot of time reading about different ways that couples handled it and the thought of being able to spend whatever I want on whatever I want and not having to explain why was what I had always wanted so reacting the way I did was pretty ridiculous. Luckily, I have pretty much the most patient husband in the history of all husbands and he gave me time to realize this on my own and only said “I told you so” about 47 times.

END GAME WORST CASE SCENARIO

I am embarrassed by the level of sticker crazy I have gone with my Erin Condrin LifePlanner. I had a small and more simple planner from a Kickstarter last year and I really liked it but I had a gift certificate for Erin Condren and I did like the colorful planner so I got it for this year. I love it! It’s laid out really well and is similar to how I was already using the smaller planner.

But then I made the mistake of googling some ideas for using the planner and I found… THE STICKERS. So right off the bat I bought this super girly sticker spread for January and once I got it I was IMMEDIATELY hooked.

I am so embarrassed of this planner obsession.

After that I got a little sticker crazy on Etsy but they are pretty cheap! So I set a budget then got super sad when I hit it. Below is my first week in January which I really love. Some girls are SUPER sticker crazy and literally fill the entire week with stickers but I’m more of a “white space planner” (I’ve had to learn the sticker lingo) because I do NOT like clutter and I need white space in my life, okay.

I am so embarrassed of this planner obsession.

So once I hit my budget I started reading how to make this cheaper and a lot of girls mentioned buying printable stickers off Etsy and printing them on sticker paper myself so that’s exactly what I did. AND! I used credit card points so I got this printer FOR FREE. And the ink FOR FREE. So now I can buy JPEGs like the one for these watercolor To Do List stickers for $1.75! BAM! Cheap sticker to make my week PRETTY!

I am so embarrassed of this planner obsession.

I know, I kind of hate myself right now too. But planning is something that my counselor recommended to me about two years ago and it has helped IMMENSELY to keep my anxiety more under control. I am the kind of person that automatically jumps to the END GAME WORST CASE SCENARIO and it’s really helped me to be able to write down a goal, list out the steps to get there then cross them off along the way. I’m a more pleasant person to be around and that’s awesome for a whole lot of people.

And it helps my obsessive organizational tendency. The same part of my brain that needs my cans to line up and my clothes to be hung in color order REALLY LOVES that I can look at this and see orange for Cassidy’s schedule, dark green for work, light green for bills, pink for personal stuff, blue for Ben, etc.

I’ve also become an insane budgeter since Ben and I split finances (this has been SUCH a positive more for Ben and I and I totally plan on blogging about it SOON) and this has reigned in my need to obsessively check all my financial accounts online.

Okay, I’m done now. I can’t promise that this will be my last planner post but I DO PROMISE you that I hate me more than you do right now.

TRUST.

Why I’m about to break up with Lootcrate.

Oh how I wanted to love Lootcrate. A box full of figurines and pins and shirts AND MORE!? And all geeky!? YES PLEASE.

But no.

I mean, the figurines have all been great. Even the ones that I don’t necessarily want I’ve been able to give away to people that want them. But for the most part? Love them!

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But oh man, the shirts. I am a lover of geeky tshirts. I have a pretty extensive collection that I’m proud of. I wear them all the time. All day every day. No matter what movie we go see, from any genre of geek lore, I have a tshirt and/or hoodie to proudly wear while we stand in line. So when I started seeing the shirts from Lootcrate I was instantly sold. I made a promise to myself long ago that I’d only allow myself one subscription box at a time so I cancelled my Ipsy bag and subscribed to Lootcrate and chose the Women’s XL shirt option.

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So far? I can wear ONE of the six shirts I’ve gotten because EVERY SINGLE SHIRT is a different size. All labeled XL, one actually is an XL. The rest? I’d say range from extra small to Medium. I’ve searched high and low for an actual shirt size chart on the Lootcrate but haven’t been able to find anything. And I’ve found plenty of people online that complain about this and Lootcrate’s only answer is to send it back for an exchange AT YOUR COST.

No.

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I REALLY REALLY don’t want to have to cancel my subscription but at this point I’m really just wasting my money unless I want to add the cost of sending my shirts back every month or switching to an XXL and hoping they actually show up in a size I can wear.

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Get your shit together, Lootcrate.

Blogmas Day 3: HANS IS HOME!

Hans tore a hole in Cassidy’s window screen FOUR MONTHS ago. We spent a lot of time looking for him and once I thought I saw him run into a yard in the cul-de-sac across from us but it was 5:00AM and I wasn’t comfortable getting all up in the bushes in front of a neighbors front window at that time.

Then last night we didn’t go to a Christmas party and Ben happened to be outside and saw him streak across our driveway! He ran after him which freaking Hans out so Ben sat down and just started calling to him and Hans ran right over! Ben called me and yelled BRING CAT TREATS COME OUTSIDE NOW. Ben wasn’t able to grab him but when I threw a few treats down he walked right up to me and nuzzled into my chest. I carried him home.

When I brought him upstairs Cassidy didn’t believe me but Hans ran over to her and didn’t leave her side for the entire night. He ate and fell asleep almost instantly and has been sleeping most of the day. It’s been SO COLD outside and he’s SO skinny so I imagine the next few days are going to be spent mostly eating and sleeping on her cozy warm bed with is favorite human companion.

He’s pretty smelly so I’m about to go give him a sponge bath because I hate to traumatize him with a full real bath right now. Then I’ll flea treat him. We have him quarantined in Cassidy’s room in case he picked something up out there and I’m going to make an appointment to get him in to see the vet and get checked out.

But he’s HOME! Safe and warm and with a full belly.

BEST. CHRISTMAS. GIFT. EVER.

Hans is home. Skinny, cuts on his face, can't get enough love from Cassidy. ??

Blogmas Day 2: I almost failed already.

I’m currently in bed wearing a Grumpy Bear onsie cuddled up with Kumo’s butt.

Here was my day:

Wake up. Work. Long commute home. Dinner. Lots of Hearthstone and laughing with Ben. Onsie bed butt cuddles.

All in all, I’m okay with this.

Tomorrow: CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!

Blogmas Day 1. Questions and Answers with Cassidy.

I’ve decided to attempt Blogmas. ATTEMPT. I’ll probably fail but I like to set my standards low so that I’m not disappointed in myself later. The last few months I’ve written around 2 posts a month and I’ve already met that goal so basically I’ve already won December.

My friend Trini posted this questions meme on Facebook the other day and it was fun to read her daughter’s answers. Because I didn’t want to have to type all the answers out I just made Cassidy sit down and make a video with me. Because I’m lazy. And also, you can see our real interactions.

Coloring Book Giveaway: NSFW Edition

Coloring Book Giveaway Prize

I participate in most of The Oatmeal’s Kickstarters because each one is more awesome than the next. Somehow I ended up getting TWO of his coloring books, Penis Fairies and Queef Storms – An Adult Coloring Book by The Oatmeal. I don’t really need TWO penis fairy coloring books which is good news for you! Because you can have one if you win!

And because you can’t color 1000 year boners or queef storms if you don’t have coloring pencils, I picked up a 36 pack of colored pencils and a sharpener to send with it so you can get to coloring right away.

I gave you 12 ways to enter this time plus added 2 that you can do daily if you want. So, get to it! PENIS FARIRIES AWAIT!

GOOD LUCK!

Penis Fairies and Queef Storms – An Adult Coloring Book by The Oatmeal

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOUR BUTT IS WARM!

At 3:10AM this morning my alarm went off to go pick Cassidy up from work at the local outlet mall. Ben and I dropped her off last night at 7:00PM on the way home from a DELICIOUS Thanksgiving dinner with my mom and brothers and the parking lot was already completely full. PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.

Snuggle Buddies Anyway, my alarm went off at 3:10AM and after hitting snooze once, I got up to go get her. I fell asleep with my clothes on so that I could just slip into some flip-flops and walk out the door. But this stopped me and I had to take a picture because HOW CUTE ARE THEY!? Kumo is like, “WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?” And Agent Romanoff is like, “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOUR BUTT IS WARM!”

So anyway, after the photo I stumbled into the bathroom then grabbed my glasses, put on my flip-flops and started heading downstairs.

I walked out of the bedroom and realized that OMG WHY CAN’T I SEE!? And this is how the brain of a worrier works.

  • OMG I AM GOING BLIND.
  • Don’t be stupid you don’t just suddenly go blind.
  • OMG MAYBE IT’S AN ANEURYSM!
  • Wait, those are instant, right? Don’t be stupid, you aren’t having an aneurysm.
  • OMG! IS MY BLOOD PRESSURE SPIKING?! IS IT A HEART ATTACK!? FUCK! WHAT’S THE HEART ATTACK ACRONYM!?
  • WHAT ABOUT THE STROKE ACRONYM!? OMG AM I HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND A STROKE AT THE SAME TIME?!
  • No, sudden blindness is not one of the symptoms of STOP or FAST. STOP BEING STUPID!
  • Should I wake up Ben?! What will I even say!? TAKE ME TO THE ER! I CAN’T SEE SOMETHING IS WRONG I AM PROBABLY DYING!
  • Wait, I should verify I’m dying first. How do you so that? Should I take my temperature? What is the temperature of a dying person? Pulse? DO I EVEN HAVE A PULSE AT THIS POINT?! OMG AM I EVEN BREATHING!?

Then I took my glasses off and realized I could see! It was a miracle! Except, no, I just fell asleep with my contacts in.

When I woke up later this morning I had to laugh about it and thought it would be funny to look at the NEST video to see how stupid I looked and that’s when I realized all this happened in my brain in about a half a second.

I will never understand why my brain does this. WORSE CASE SCENARIO FIRST, ALL PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATIONS SECOND! I’ve gotten MUCH better at dealing with it in a daily basis. Ben is a great sounding board so if I can’t manage to talk myself off he ledge, he is always there to listen and remind me that I am COMPLETELY overreacting about something. I wish my brain would get a clue and stop this insane process but at the very least I’m able to look back and laugh about it now.

Life in bullets

Oh hi, here’s an update on my life in bullets. Because bullets are fun and I am lazy.

  • I’m 1.5 months into treating my lifelong psoriasis with Enbrel. So far the side effects have been, on a scale from Fucking Miserable to YAY NOTHING, about a Not Fun. Nausea the day after each injection, weird itchy red spots where I inject and CRAZY oily skin. Oh yes, INJECT. I’ll have to write about the time I gave myself the first shot and I had to sit on the floor because I was scared I’d pass out. That was fun!
  • Tonight I ate half a pecan pie for dinner.
  • Agent Romanoff We got a new kitten named Agent Romanoff she is equal parts adorable and asshole. She’s adorable most of the time. She’s an asshole between the hours of 11:00PM and 5:00AM.
  • I bought a Nest Cam so that I can spy on the dogs when we’re not home except it turns out that dogs are actually incredibly boring once you leave and just sleep on the couch all day. And when you use the Nest Cam’s speaker to tell them to get off the couch they look the camera straight on, lick their genitals, roll over, and fall back asleep. They are so boring that I’m seriously considering buying one of the outside cameras so that I can spy on my neighborhood instead.
  • I bought a camera that takes really decent video and have been uploading more to my YouTube channel. I’m considering doing a weekly vlog type thing (I don’t get how people do that DAILY) but we’ll see. It’s more work than I thought it would be and most of it is Cassidy and I making fart jokes and singing gangster rap in my car or her rolling her eyes at my Mom Jokes.
  • I finally started watching Poldark because so many of my friends loved it. I too loved it till the last episode and now I hate Ross. I might have to acquire the last episode to just get it over with before it’s release here in the US because I just want closure and for it to be over. I can’t remember the last time I was so disappointed in a fictional character. GODDAMMIT, ROSS.
  • I really want to write more but there are video games to play and Ben just said there is still pie left.

The End.

Just kidding! I have another giveaway coming soon! That was fun and I’m excited to do one again! Stay tuned!

Now really, The End.

LUSH Little Monster Giveaway

Hello, my name is Anna and I am a LUSH addict.

I had to order some new shampoo last week so I decided to order something extra to do a little giveaway. YAY FREE STUFF! I loved this Little Monster immediately so I got one for one of you.

I tried to add as many ways to enter as I could for free with the Gleam app. Contest goes till October 9th at midnight. Good luck!

LUSH Halloween Giveaway

Mandatory Disclaimer: I bought this Little Monster myself with my own money. It is not sponsored by anybody or any company.